Okay, lets hear your 'stupid moments' !!!

[Josh]

I read the whole of this thread when bored at work, any more stories? I'll think of some

[Guest Luke Hero]

This thread has got me "LOL"ing a lot hahah

[Max Headroom]

I was clearing out my dad's shed and came across an old mousetrap, I had not seen one for ages and as I was walking out the shed primed the mousetrap to go off. Just as I exited the shed my wife tripped over a box and nudged my elbow, setting the mousetrap off. I now have a very black thumb, it really hurts

[trev the rev]

one night i was out with the lads and we all where well hammered, so are mate anto said he would give us a lift to the club, so we are doing about 60 mph when i stupidly lift the handbrake to scare anto. anyway the car rolled over into a field, we had noway into town, so we decide to flip the car back over and anto the madman drives us in! cars roof was all bent in! poor little citroen saxo! we all had a good laugh about that one

[JustGav]

lift the handbrake to scare anto......we all had a good laugh about that one

 

Better than the swift kicking I would have given someone if they did that to me....

[MrRalphMan]

one night i was out with the lads and we all where well hammered, so are mate anto said he would give us a lift to the club, so we are doing about 60 mph when i stupidly lift the handbrake to scare anto. anyway the car rolled over into a field, we had noway into town, so we decide to flip the car back over and anto the madman drives us in! cars roof was all bent in! poor little citroen saxo! we all had a good laugh about that one

 

A muppet did that to me once, luckily with it being a MK1 Capri, the handbrake cable broke..

 

Was still not a happy bunny.

[Josh]

A few months ago after some drinking games at my friends' house he decided he wanted the opportunity to walk on the ceiling. I flipped him upside down and after about 2 paces on the ceiling I started to fall.

 

Well instead of letting him go I proceeded to hold on to him and pretty much DDT'd (wrestling move, google it) him into the radiator which then broke off the wall.

 

He'd just moved in and there was water everywhere. It took us ages to get it back on and fix it

[Guest HILLSEY]

just read through this thread and can say only one thing... ur a bunch of nutters haha!! saying that..

 

at work today i was getting kinda annoyed with this flourescent tube light in one of the chillers at my work that works when it wants to. today it decided not too and i was in the mood for fixing.

 

i flicked the bulb a few times, patted it, and nothing. normally it flickers on. i started to twist it hoping itd start up, then i noticed it wasnt in properly. one of the metal pins on one end was sticking out. in my wisdom i decided to grab the metal pin and tried to push it in. instead of it going in it zapped me with 240 volts. all i can say is im glad the shop had only been open 5 minutes and there was no one to see me going bang.

 

p.s light still doesnt work and my name is in the accident book AGAIN.. last time i had an unfortunate encounter with a wet floor and a tray of oranges. oh and theres the time before that i crushed my hand in a door. and disclocated my left knee.... and several other stupid work related accidents

[Josh]

just read through this thread and can say only one thing... ur a bunch of nutters haha!! saying that..

 

at work today i was getting kinda annoyed with this flourescent tube light in one of the chillers at my work that works when it wants to. today it decided not too and i was in the mood for fixing.

 

i flicked the bulb a few times, patted it, and nothing. normally it flickers on. i started to twist it hoping itd start up, then i noticed it wasnt in properly. one of the metal pins on one end was sticking out. in my wisdom i decided to grab the metal pin and tried to push it in. instead of it going in it zapped me with 240 volts. all i can say is im glad the shop had only been open 5 minutes and there was no one to see me going bang.

 

p.s light still doesnt work and my name is in the accident book AGAIN.. last time i had an unfortunate encounter with a wet floor and a tray of oranges. oh and theres the time before that i crushed my hand in a door. and disclocated my left knee.... and several other stupid work related accidents

 

Haha "and my name is in the accident book AGAIN"

 

Sounds bad!

[Marco]

I drive an avensis now these days, it's a lift back - basically a 5th door for boot. It's very practical to take my bike with me.

 

Anyway, I was in a rush one evening. I parked in front of my garage, opened boot, took bike out, opened garage door, got in car and checked mirrors. Something looked different then usual, I didnt realise I left the boot open and reversed into my garage.

A load scraping noise followed and my boot slammed shut, bang! OMG how stupid was that... I broke both boot lid gas struts and scratched the paint.

 

Those struts cost over £200 each from toyota, but I got some clone make ones for £50 each : )

[TUNERAIDER]

i remember getting my first car vw jetta 1.3 red. a real bucket of poo but i thought it was the mutts nuts and knowing no better raided halfords for the cosmetic touches.

 

wheel hubs, new mats, and the biggest screw on exhaust extention available.

 

driving around welling with a stereo that cost more than the car giving it large. i pulled into a garage filled up and was just pulling off when a bloke walked over knocked

on the window and asked if i had a sports exhaust fitted to my car to which i replied yeah stainless steel mate 8 inch.

 

he then smiled put his hand through the window and dropped the exhaust extention on my lap. damm those loose screws.

 

one day i want to have a moment when i give that smile.

[Kazuma]

I've never laughed so hard for such a long time!

 

Hi all,

 

I probably watch Home Improvement far too much, but I've certainly had my share of Tim the Toolman Taylor moments ! For example.

 

I used to have an old Suffolk Punch lawnmower. Yes a 14" electric would've done, but if it ain't 4-stroke - I don't wanna know Anyway, a number of years ago I dug this out of the shed for the first mow of the year. Cleaned the plug, checked the oil etc but the bugger wouldn't start. I diagnosed stale petrol so emptied the tank and filled it up with fresh petrol, it then started no problem.

However, what to do with the old petrol ? Well I thought I'd just tip it down the drain near the house. With this done, I then thought 'that probably wasn't a good idea' so decided to, er, get rid of the petrol................cue lit match

Well at first I wasn't worried, okay my drain was on fire but I thought the petrol would just burn away and job done then out of no where BANG - WTF was that !!! Despite me shatting meself at this point, there was no damage and I still have no idea what went bang. I did have visions of water gushing up from the toilets and plugholes in the house tho However, just when I started to calm down BANG NOW I'm starting to worry, visions of burst pipes and neighbours screaming about rising waters etc

 

Thankfully, that was the end of it and I survived my Darwin Award moment. But I'm sure I'm not the only one to have daft moments, so lets hear 'em

 

Matt

 

This was also a classic!

 

I once tried to bite the end off a tube of Superglue that had got clogged up. As I snapped the crusty bit off a load of the glue went into my mouth and stuck my top teeth to my bottom teeth, my top lip to my bottom lip, my lips to the front of my teeth and my tongue to the back of my teeth.

It took bloody ages of soaking my face in celulose thinners to get the superglue off as well.

 

 

 

Another time I went to a fancydress party as BA Baracus from the A Team. My GF was supposed to get me some of that make-up stuff to make you look black but she couldn't find any, so at the last minute I decided to use brown boot polish. Off we went to the party, me in green overalls - cut off the biceps, fake mohican, massive chain borrowed from my Dad's tow truck and sprayed gold, and all visable skin covered in boot polish.

I woke up the next morning still in my outfit and with cripling back and neck ache from wearing the massively heavy chain. I then staggered to the bathroom and found out that boot polish doesn't come off human skin if it's been left on for like 12 hours.

[LolaBoost94]

This was just over a year ago one bored night at work... one of the guys left his Mil ID in the computer. It's got our SSN on them so you can imagine if an inspector found it. You'd get in deep shit. We got it, used dry-erase marker and drew all over it. Turned him into a terrorist pretty much, looked awesome! Yeah, dry-erase marker DOES NOT come off easy! He had to end up getting a new ID. Now, as his return prank... I had a 97 Honda Civic, just 4 wheels to get me from point A to point B. Well, it's cold outside so I go start her up to get her warm. I come back outside, throw my bags in the back and hop in the driver’s seat. I put her in reverse... doesn't go anywhere and I stall out. No clue as to what just happened... given, I'm dead tired after a long shift. I start her up and try it again. Same thing! I was like ok, weird... let's try and go forward. Yup, didn't get an inch and stalled again. Notice: the e-brake isn't engaged. I get out, walk around the car and to my surprise, that ass chalked my left rear tire so where I couldn't move. I did the spin around to see if anyone was around and some guy in the smoke put is crying laughing... Yup, I made it a habit to check all around my car before I try and leave the parking lot.

[dave finch]

well when i was based at prince phillip barracks me and my very good friend paul got quite quite drunk (£1 a drink no matter what you wanted pints of tequilla vodka straight lol ) when we got back to the room ( we were in a 6 man room) he decided st shoot me in the face with a bb gun quite funny i nearly lost an eye but hey so i went to my locker an excalated things a tad with a .22 co2 powered air pistol ( we bought these about two weeks before)and shot him 6 times in the legs and arse with paul in clip on the flor i laughed loads as he picked pellets out of his flesh me thinking this was the end of it got undressed and tried to get in to bed paul hits me with a volley of pellets in the foot and legs actually hurt alot i chased him around the block for about 2 hours me and him just shooting at each other with air pistols creased up reloding as the other was in turbo clip

well as you can tell we were quite wrecked and things escalated quite alot to the point one of the new lads got summoned as a human shield and i went to the car to get the air rifle well to cut a long story short paul has huge scars on his legs from a window in the door we both have scars from pellets and i still have a pellet in my leg its been there 3 years we both got charged quite alot of money and we traumatised a new lad

ohh also we had the qrf (quick reaction force) turn up and a very nice conversation with the rsm 2 hours of shouting nice lol i even nearly got charged with firearms offences ( bit extreme i thought lol)

anyways after this episode i wasnt to popular amongst the seniors nco's ect and my plt commander hated me lol

its probably the stupidest thing iv ever done but me and my mate most certainly found it quite funny were even still best of friends

but yer as i say a very funny night and i didnt throw up bonus ehy

suprisingly the most painfull was an air rifle .177 pellet in the fingerohh my god that hurt my finger swelled around the pellet and stayed like it for 3 days lol

[suprasurrey]

I remember an incident that I had after rebuilding a friends drag car engine. The engine was fully rebuilt and mounted to a test bed and we had a huge battery that had been on charge for a week connected up to start the beast. After several attempts to start the engine the battery was dead, so we borrowed another battery and placed the dead one just behind the engine out of the way. We got the engine fired up and idling smoothly, the sound was amazing as we were running on just the open manifolds! When the engine was warm enough I thought I`d give the throttle a quick blast................................mistake!!!! The engine missfired, shot a flame from the open manifold across the top of the dead battery, this ignited the Hydrogen gasses coming out of the battery and KABOOM, huge pink fireball and everything peppered with acid, including us. All that was left of the battery was the base and the two terminals, a plastic sky light had been blown out by the force of the explosion and all we could do was to laugh our heads off!!!!!

[Supra Gaz]

Brilliant threa.

When I was 11 me and Dan my best mate at the time were in the fields behind his house, we were shooting the cows with his air rifle, they didn't appear to feel it untill Dan shot at something, a second later we heard a loud rumbling sound and a rouring Moo, the next thing I know Dan is running off towards the barbed wire fence to escape the field and what I believe to be a bull running at us. I doubt anyrhing or anyone has ever moved as fast as I did when I saw that thing, I sprinted for the fence and dived through the barbed wire, as I did I caught my gentlemans area and my left leg, I tore said piece of equipment down the length, I began bleeding through my cord trousers, yes cords, and ran to Dans house, 20 minutes later I was at derriford hospital, an hour later I was trying to explain to my dad why I had ruined my trousers and hurt myself. I still have a scar now, at least it all still works!

[welshbuddy]

i have quite a few!

1/ Motocross championship!, 125cc class, was running 4th at the time!, 1st lap, i was loving it , go a good hole shot out the corner, high up in the pack!, but then disaster strook!, my bike cut out on me. i got to the side, kicked and kicked!, nothing!, i got off and back to the pits after embarrsing push up the hill! mates asking me , "whats wrong with your bike, i bet you just forgot to put petrol in didn't you!" (joking around), i checked my tank, empty, i went into a main championship race! and didnt even fill my bike! now thats embarrassing! .. and i never here the end of it

[markylee]

Last week i changed both rear shocks, i was thinking twice about doing this because i had woken up to find my mountain bike had been stolen, so i thought its probably a good idea not to do this in a bad mood, but i went ahead anyway, i had to use spring clamps to remove the top plate, somehow after compressing the the spring , one of them slipped and both of them shot off, one cought me in the arm, and the other shot up in the air came down and landed on my bonnet, and ive just had the car resprayed, it was like a scene from some mothers do av em, i felt like a right frank spencer, and the sound was from a cartoon ,,,,,,TWANG,,,,,,,,Wooooooosh,,,,,,,,,,,BANG ,,,,,,,The clamp landed on the drivers side of the bonnet, just above the air filter, so i am thinking of having some loures cut on both sides , i dont know how much this will cost , but i do like the look of louvres, i also have an original sard front bumper , so it should match that nicely, so all in all not a good day, but today made up for it a bit , because she flew through the m.o.t. oh and while i am here, whats your opinion on the blue wheels, i am not quite sure.

Edited May 5, 2011 by markylee
add on (see edit history)

[DJButler]

Brilliant threa.

When I was 11 me and Dan my best mate at the time were in the fields behind his house, we were shooting the cows with his air rifle, they didn't appear to feel it untill Dan shot at something, a second later we heard a loud rumbling sound and a rouring Moo, the next thing I know Dan is running off towards the barbed wire fence to escape the field and what I believe to be a bull running at us. I doubt anyrhing or anyone has ever moved as fast as I did when I saw that thing, I sprinted for the fence and dived through the barbed wire, as I did I caught my gentlemans area and my left leg, I tore said piece of equipment down the length, I began bleeding through my cord trousers, yes cords, and ran to Dans house, 20 minutes later I was at derriford hospital, an hour later I was trying to explain to my dad why I had ruined my trousers and hurt myself. I still have a scar now, at least it all still works!

 

Shooting at cows, May your wheels always skid on cowshit!!!!!

[Guest lkspicer]

Not me, a fellow student.

 

Just a few days ago a group of my friends went to some woods to do some forestry work.. So there they were chopping up old dead bits of wood to burn to make charcoal, one to the boys was using an axe and he decided to put one foot up on the chopping blocks they were using.. he went to swing the axe to chop the next bit of wood but got distracted by a girl riding a horse, of course he was looking in the wrong direction but the axe kept going.. and let's put it this way he is in hospital at the moment having he foot reconstructed..

[Guest Linkz]

A few of used to muck about on scramblers at the weekend to blow out the cobwebs after a night out.

Till we started to do a bit of drunken scrambling on a sunday afternoon, which was fun at the time, until i hit a patch of wet grass and proceeded to leapfrog over the handlebars, being drunk i forgot to put my arms out to save me and break the fall a little.

After landing on my face and using my jaw to slow myself down (and digging a ditch in the field), the person behind me was in a state o brief shock followed by hilarity, at which point he forgot what he was doing and ran over the top of me.

The bike was hastily stuck back in the shed and back to the pub i went with my freshly grazed blood stained t-shirt and a jaw that felt like i had been in a boxing match.

I didn't play that game again.

[Guest Ajay]

Hmm ive had a few silly moments.

 

Modified nationals a few years go. Ever so slightly drunk decided to go on one of the rides (one that goes upside down). Seeming as i was a tad warm went on it without a jacket. So when it was upside down, cue my boobs trying to escape. Then the lads across from me were in pure fits and to add insult to injury they decided to come up to me the next day and say "aren't you the one whos boobs nearly came out last night". Could of died of embarrasment.

Then the other day madam was in a grouch and i went up to see what was up. Forgot my hands were wet and missed the door handle. I went full force face first in to the door and madam was cheekily in pure fits of giggles

[al02uk]

After reading a few of these I feel that I have to tell you about this.

 

Whilst driving, my better half is staring at the info screen on the dashboard of the car. "Is that temperature inside or outside" she asks.

 

I tell her that its the outside temp and think nothing more of it. Anyway about 10 mins later the passenger window goes down and the missus is waving her Iphone out of the window like a flag.

 

"what the hell are you doing, you might drop it" I tell her, and to my utter amazement she tells me this.

 

"well the temperature on my phone is higher that the temperature on the dashboard which means that its reading the internal temperature. I thought I'd put the phone out the window to see how accurate it is at reading outside temperatures"................

 

At this point I had to pull over and p**s myself laughing for about 20mins before I could carry on

 

[Graham1984]

A mate of mine and some others decided they couldn't be bothered to walk 5miles to get home and it was just gone 6am and the milkman was on his rounds, They were all hammered and waited for the milkman to go up to one of the houses and pinched his van smashing loads of bottles in the road as they spun it round to head the way they needed, The police were called and caught up with them which was bad news as being a tad smashed they had mounted a high kerb and buckled one of the wheels so were scraping along swerving to keep the police behind them. In the end they managed to ditch the van into the woods and run like hell although a couple got caught.

 

Another few mates were trying to find somewhere to pitch up a tent after they had been driving for ages and had no hotel or anywhere to stay that night, They found a quiet dark field set up tent and had a few beers and passed out. Early the next morning the tent keeps knocking in like someone was throwing stuff at it, turns out they had set up camp near the centre circle of a football pitch and there was a sunday league game to be played complete with spectators watching the two teams blast balls at the tent until the idiots got up and tore the tent down as fast as possible.

[Holden1989]

This afternoon I have mostly been untangling a hand held fan from my hair.

 

That is all.