Guest jakewilks Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 similar experience with superglue only not as funny,about 15yrs ago i was put into our stores while the storeman was off sick, new experience for me, so i was nervous, i also had a crown in my front tooth, i sneezed and the crown shot out and smashed off the wall and went into the shittiest corner in the stores, dug it out covered in all sorts and, ahh hah SUPERGLUE great idea i thought so i glued the 3 pieces together and proceeded to glue it into the hole in my tooth, all this very hurriedly before any other engineers or bosses came through, but yes it happened my fingers were stuck fast to the tooth which was now well stuck to the hole it fell out off, luckily my hands were oily and very dirty so i just yanked them off and they came away quite easily,minus some skin,just as engineers and said bosses started to come through for parts etc,it went on for the afternoon until i went to the toilet only to see a huge black fingerprint stuck on the tooth in glue and black cracks on the tooth, nobody had said a word, well to my face anyway john Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtgaz Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Lol! some funny storys, I got loads but heres and embarrassing one. When i was at college a few years ago. I was in the entrance bit leaning on radiator waiting for a friend in the bar. Well it happened to be an open day so there was about 50 people, loads of fit girls and their mums really. They were all looking at me funny for 5mins or so.. and the caretaker come over and whispered something, i had no idea what he said so i just smiled. Then he said it again, and i thought he was talking about the radiator i was leaning on so i looked round and it and i said sorry or something, he said it again and still i had no idea, I just wanted him to go away. Then he practically shouted your flies are undone and pointed. White boxers and hands in pockets means they were stretched open like never before, and everyone looked and giggled.. so i pretended to walk in the shop done them up and came out and had to walk through everyone. Walking in the shop was a bad move, i should have just done them up infront of everyone lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leon Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Ive gotta a few muppit moments but this one springs to mind. When i was youger (can really remember how old), i helped my dad decorate the kitchen, paint everything and it looked pritty good. A couple of day's later (just enough time for the paint to dry) i decided i was going to make french bread, wasnt too good at cooking but hay!, my sister wanted to talk to me about something, usuall sister tripe lol, so i left the frying pan for what i thought was a min! I remember sitting upstairs talking to my sister thinking, Thats abit too much smoke for a cig? S@#t ran down stairs only to be knocked off my feet as i opened the kitchen door to a massive ball of fames oooops!!! spent the rest of the day re-painting the now char-grilled kitchen!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leon Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Ive gotta a few muppit moments but this one springs to mind. When i was youger (can really remember how old), i helped my dad decorate the kitchen, paint everything and it looked pritty good. A couple of day's later (just enough time for the paint to dry) i decided i was going to make french bread, wasnt too good at cooking but hay!, my sister wanted to talk to me about something, usuall sister tripe lol, so i left the frying pan for what i thought was a min! I remember sitting upstairs talking to my sister thinking, Thats abit too much smoke for a cig? S@#t ran down stairs only to be knocked off my feet as i opened the kitchen door to a massive ball of fames oooops!!! spent the rest of the day re-painting the now char-grilled kitchen!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leon Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 oops, see what i mean about muppit moments lol, sorry!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistol pete Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 my silly/funny moment from recently went out with my mum her B/f and me wife i am sat in the front of their almera (51 plate i think) and think hmm sitting a bit far away (in passanger seat) so pull up lever and look around for something to grab hold on to pull meself forward, i know the centre console so just as i start to pull my self forward i go shooting back onto me mum's legs with most of the centre consol come away from the car in me hand (i am not big only 11.5 stone so not my weight) but the whole centre consol comes off stereo, heater controls air con conrtrols, air vents everything theres me looking horrified i had just pulled their not very well put together car back together with everyone pissing them selves laughting and dave driving almost driving down a ditch cos he is crying with laughter i have taken loads of car interiors apart but none that easy!! got it back together ok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistol pete Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 one about my car and the previous owner as some know my car has remote start to make things worse to you know what is comming he fills up the car - 80 odd squid goes to a noght club on the way in stuffs teh keys in his pocket comes out in some early hours of the morning seeing the lights on the front of the car hmm gets cloaser heres it running and teh red warning petrol light on doh i haev been so careful to make sure i do not do it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
movistar Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Got 2 electric shocks off the washing machine whilst trying to repair it last weekend second one was a belter tripped the hole house out and then later moved onto the pride and joy to finish some wiring for the new stereo and the override for the kenlowe fan...it was all going well until the mother in-law wanted to come with me to the petrol station and where after filling up i go to get back in the supe and the frigging thing starts to catch alight... yes you guessed it the wiring had shorted on the bulk head and was glowing a treat....F.ck i was like a headless chicken!! managed to save it an still go to the Brighton meet the next day....result is mother in-law is now to scared to out with me again and i think me and electrics don't go!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kieran Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 A few months ago I found one of those shoe-box sized outdoor ashtrays on the way home after getting quite refreshed at the pub with some mates and decided it would be big and clever to empty the contents on one of my mates. He disagreed, flailed his arms around and it ended up hitting me in the head, just above my eye. Lots of blood came out and was still comming out when we got back to mine. So, being the resourceful lot that we are, we found a needle and some cotton in a drawer and my bladdered mate stitched my head up. I now have quite a deep scar above my eyebrow and lots of little holes around it where he kept fooking up the stitches. Probably not my cleverest moment, but it did save sitting in A&E with all the other drunken idiots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveWilko Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I have a chinchilla called Rolo. He is about 5 months old and tears around the house like a tasmanian devil. He loves screamig up the stairs and launching himself onto the toilet seat and then bouncing up into the sink. Except a week ago we forgot to put the seat down! I realised just as he tore out of the kitchen. I ran after him and was halfway up the stairs when I heard an almighty PLOP! a few seconds silence and then frantic splashing. Went into the bathroom and he was jumping up and down in the bowl trying to get out. Chinchillas hate water and it is very bad for them because their fur is so dense the water can't evaporate. Anyway I got him into a towel and after a few hours giving me accusing looks he forgave me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookci Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 I once did a headgasket change on a rover... i did it without a hayne!!! Anyway i was that eager to see if it worked and started it up without tightening up the head bolts I was back fitting another HG the next week!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kieren1234 Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 I have a chinchilla called Rolo. He is about 5 months old and tears around the house like a tasmanian devil. He loves screamig up the stairs and launching himself onto the toilet seat and then bouncing up into the sink. Except a week ago we forgot to put the seat down! I realised just as he tore out of the kitchen. I ran after him and was halfway up the stairs when I heard an almighty PLOP! a few seconds silence and then frantic splashing. Went into the bathroom and he was jumping up and down in the bowl trying to get out. Chinchillas hate water and it is very bad for them because their fur is so dense the water can't evaporate. Anyway I got him into a towel and after a few hours giving me accusing looks he forgave me Pics??? Whats a chinchilla?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigcol Posted October 13, 2007 Share Posted October 13, 2007 i got banned from the local asda for going into the changing rooms and shouting "excuse me has anyone seen the toilet paper" not as bad as the time i put a trail of ketchup from one end of an isle to the feminine hygene section and drained the rest off, cant really understand why they banned me:innocent: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoff Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 I got engaged at 20 to a bit of a tart. It didn't last long:d That was pretty stupid:p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupaRuss Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 Me and the missus were on a cruise around the caribbean and the ship was stopping off in Jamaica, this would of been the first stop on the cruise so we were eager to get off and see the sights, so were sitting in the main reception area of the boat with the tour guide telling us where we are going to visit there must of been 50-60 ppl going on this trip aswell, The tour guide mentions that were going to see Kingston town, Dunns river falls and Montego Bay...... I asked why on earth would we want to see where those terrorist prisoners are kept... After maybe 5 mins off people p*ssing themselves with laughter the guide told me that the place i was talking about is Guantanamo Bay which is in Cuba not Jamaica.. Smugg gits. I still get the p*ss taken out of me when the missus shows the pictures to her friends. Was a nice holiday if you forget that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamc Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 My latest moment, well oe of them. Recently went to Rome on holiday, so in this nice hotel, nice big LCD tv, etc. Watching a bit of tv that I cannot understand before going to bed and playing on the internet at the same time. Finally decide time for bed, go get some water, glass by the bedside. Grab the sheets of the bed, that re firmly tucked in under the matress and pull. Matress goes flying, then no power, all lights, TV tripped, etc. Go outside, bitching and moaning since I stubbed my toe on the bed while walking out. Guy comes up and after a lot of moaning, turns out power was tripped on the main breaker. Get back to the room, pick up the matress and ........ SH!T! The water landed on the laptop power supply... might have explained that lovely cracking sound Opps Ending up upsetting quite a few people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackie Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 tonight, my misses asked me to run us a bath. she said to have the hot tap on 75%, i then asked how many % should i have the cold tap on in my defence i have been out all night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellis Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 I met, married and split from wife no.2 in 4 weeks end to end!! Marriage lasted just 36 hours!! Beat that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyP Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 I met, married and split from wife no.2 in 4 weeks end to end!! Marriage lasted just 36 hours!! Beat that! OMG! THat's mad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellis Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 OMG! THat's mad! No shit!!! It was a hot summer and I was bored!!! Other than that I have no explanation for such an out of character moment of stupidity! Wasn't even drunk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyP Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 No shit!!! It was a hot summer and I was bored!!! Other than that I have no explanation for such an out of character moment of stupidity! Wasn't even drunk! :rlol:You were bored?:rlol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 LMAO!!! this is great, its like 'Pub talk' thought of another one. board at work and I decide to make a parcel tape base ball for a quick game of catch in the store room. I chuck this rock hard ball of tape to an another guy and hit him bang in the nuts. As he rolls around in pain I just watch on laughing. After he regains composure he throws it back. So I pick up the ball and before he can react SMACK right in the love spuds again. I fall about laughing again but this guy starts getting mad. He walks upto this roll of bubble wrap and pulls off a few inches, turns his back to me and shoves it down his pants. With his codpiece in place he goes to through the ball back just as the boss walks in. I stand to attention and try to look innocent whilst this other guy suddenly realises the large bulge down his pants and pulls the bubble wrap out quickly throwing it away. ......... Unfortunately the bubble wrap wasn’t the only thing that was pulled out! Yep,..right infront of the boss he accidentally pulls out his little chap. Wasn’t funny at the time but after the embarrassment I couldn't stop laughing. I am in tears here, thats so funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRalphMan Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 A while ago I was badgered into getting petrol for the Mrs car.. It was dark, raining and to be honest I wasn't too happy..... Jumped in the car and drove to Tesco's. Got out of the soop.... Got back in and drove home to pick up the Mrs Mondeo... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 Well ok here we go. One funny and one rather embarrassing one: When I was about 3-4 years old I went out with my dad to a pub football game. Half way my dad needed the loo. Not wanting to leave me alone in a pub full of strangers he took mew into the blokes toilets with him. Back in those days most men's urinals had little smelly stones in the bottom to stop the stench. Long story cut short, when my dad finished his wee he wondered where I got the sweetie from I was now happily sucking on Now for the adult moment. When I was 18 and living in Germany, I sneaked into the army barracks with my then boyfriend. Went into his room and got a little friendly, since his room mate , who was in same room, was asleep we didn't have any light's on. Neways, my bloke decides to use some lube and grabs something from shelf above him. Wasn't till the searing burning sensation started, you know where, that he realised he had picked up his tube of algipan. Not funny then but it is now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cossack Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 a funny story a friend once told me **its worth the read** he was a keen golf player, he often took his son with him (he was about 4-5 years old at the time) his son also liked the golf as well, you know the thing, wacking the wee plastic ball about the place etc, etc.... so one day after cumming home from the course, the first thing he would always do is clean the clubs etc, this day he opened the boot and the wife called him in side for something, his wee lad just stood at the boot staring at the bag and its contents, as my mate was walkin out of the house he overheard a conversation between the neighbour and his kid, the neighbour asks" have you been away playing golf today?" to which he replies "yes" , "were you any good, today?" asks the man, to which he replies " i think i was, because when i good daddy always lets me wash his balls" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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