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Okay, lets hear your 'stupid moments' !!!


Muffleman

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stupid moments ,jesus i have one most days!!! my nick name is "shambles"

 

how about this one, lost all my car/house keys rolling about in the woods (like u do) .got home 3 hours later climbed through bathroom window stood on toilet which bent water intake pipe a little causing slight leek.as i was having a bad day i kicked the cistern in temper which shattered and flooded floor couldnt locate main water tap before water collapsed lounge ceiling causing £3000 damage in total.

 

just another day in the shambles house

 

lmao :rlol:

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  • 2 weeks later...

[sHOCK][/sHOCK]

 

I had to be removed from my bath by the fire brigade. Most embarrassing :Pling:

 

I was 8 months pregnant with my twins and had been out all day and was exhausted when I got home.

The best thing (I thought at the time) would be a nice hot bath to relax.

 

As I submurged myself into the hot bubbly water the twins moved and wedged me to the sides of the bath.

 

I tried everything to get the twins to move again including cold water, oil, massage and last but worst of all letting all the water out. I was wedged solid so my husband had no alternative but to call for assistance.

 

Be discreet I pleaded...... blues and twos later 8 firemen in my bathroom threatening to cut the bath to pieces but eventually an inflatable mat and some percivearance and out I popped, a little bruised and very embarrassed :Pling: :Pling:

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Be discreet I pleaded...... blues and twos later 8 firemen in my bathroom threatening to cut the bath to pieces but eventually an inflatable mat and some percivearance and out I popped, a little bruised and very embarrassed :Pling: :Pling:

 

Excellent... If your husband asked them to be discreet I am sure most of them wanted in to see what was going on :D

 

Gaz.

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You know that and for about a week after they randomly phoned to see how I was. Very thoughtful I know but I couldn't help thinking they wanted to see what I looked like with clothes on. It was 18 years ago when this happened and it is still like it happened yesterday cos all my kids have great pleasure in telling everyone. One of those ones to haunt you forever :Pling: :Pling:

 

[OOPS][/OOPS]

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Not me but a chap at work was out in Glasgow I think...

 

He went into a gay bar/club on a night out with some gay mates, and eventually - after a few drinks - needed to go to the loo. No big deal, off he trots and on the way in to the gents is confronted with a turn left or right choice - as both seem to have one of those long trough type urinals he picks one at random and goes for a wee.

 

On his way out he sees some chaps seated to the side of the loo entrance cooing and chuckling and waving to him, looks back and realises that the side he went to has a one-way mirror; they could see in and he never realised! PMSL :D

 

The other side was more traditional and allowed more privacy, he accidentally went to the 'check me out' side. lol.

 

I reckons he left soon after that. ;)

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Talking of pregnant and in the bath.... When the other half was expecting our nipper we'd been down to the hospital an they'd sent us home saying the usual come back when you can't stand the pain etc.

So we get back home & she decides to go for a bath, so I pop out down to the cash point to get some cash for parking etc, knowing its going to be a long night.

 

As I leave the house a car comes barreling round the corner & wipes out a lamp post, then the driver and passenger get out & scarper through the graveyard.

I call it in, flag down a passing traffic car (who was passing by totally oblivious to the obvious carnage) and completely forget about the Mrs doing an impression of a beached whale in the bath...... Until I get a phone call almost an hour afte I left. She's managed to reach her mobile that was on the floor by the bath. The water's cold & she's well into labour.

 

I never got to the cash point :(

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Left work tonight, down the steps out the door....no Supra. F**k me, I nearly passed out. Ran round the carpark, then over to the compound fence to see if some twoc'er was driving it off. Security guard was heartbroken, he loves my car almost as much as I do...radioed the top maintenance bod, ready to check the security cameras. By now I had a small crowd round me, mucho sympathy as I was almost in tears. 'Did they nick your keys or summat ?' I was asked. I checked my pockets, and my keys were gone. Shit, SHIT.

Then Jane turned up and the penny dropped. Shed bought me into work this morning after Id dropped the Supra off at the bodyshop. Im still beetroot.

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Left work tonight, down the steps out the door....no Supra. F**k me, I nearly passed out. Ran round the carpark, then over to the compound fence to see if some twoc'er was driving it off. Security guard was heartbroken, he loves my car almost as much as I do...radioed the top maintenance bod, ready to check the security cameras. By now I had a small crowd round me, mucho sympathy as I was almost in tears. 'Did they nick your keys or summat ?' I was asked. I checked my pockets, and my keys were gone. Shit, SHIT.

Then Jane turned up and the penny dropped. Shed bought me into work this morning after Id dropped the Supra off at the bodyshop. Im still beetroot.

 

Absolute classic, up there with the guy who couldn't find his fuel cap release switch in the car :)

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Left work tonight, down the steps out the door....no Supra. F**k me, I nearly passed out. Ran round the carpark, then over to the compound fence to see if some twoc'er was driving it off. Security guard was heartbroken, he loves my car almost as much as I do...radioed the top maintenance bod, ready to check the security cameras. By now I had a small crowd round me, mucho sympathy as I was almost in tears. 'Did they nick your keys or summat ?' I was asked. I checked my pockets, and my keys were gone. Shit, SHIT.

Then Jane turned up and the penny dropped. Shed bought me into work this morning after Id dropped the Supra off at the bodyshop. Im still beetroot.

 

Ha ha ha, you're a complete cock like the rest of us :D :D

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Ha ha ha, you're a complete cock like the rest of us :D :D

 

:D too little sleep, too much brain fade. I felt so sorry for the security guard...the car was 'nicked' on his watch. 'you must of seen something' 'No, I didnt see a thing' 'Shit you must have HEARD it then, it was parked right next to your hut' 'Sorry Ewen, I didnt hear a thing' ...he was ashen, the poor sod:(

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest DaviE-K

thought id try and join in the fun :p

 

i was attempting to change a rear wheel on an HGV trailer, for those of you that have had dealings with these things you will know they are big, akward and the wheelnuts are somewhat tight :p

 

so i gets the wheelbrace on it and gives it a good push. no luck. fetches a lil piece of scaffold pole, attatches it to the end of the wheel brace and gives it a bit more effort. still no luck. so off i go into the garage and come out with a whopping 5 foot length of scaffold pole, sticks it onto the end of the wheelbrace, holds onto the side of the trailer and stands on it and starts jumping up n down. now at this point iam bouncing a good 2 foot up n down trying to get this nut loose, when each of my feet slip off the pole, leaving my feet firmy on the ground (for a split second at least) and a whopping great lengh of scaffold pole hurting upwards towards my love plums at quite an astonishing rate.

 

 

needless to say i was "quiet" for the rest of the day :search:

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  • 2 weeks later...

had sex with an older woman in the back of a ford focus in the middle of town carpark.

 

Caught by customers who reconised my supra parked next to it, i am a retard sometimes

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