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Okay, lets hear your 'stupid moments' !!!


Muffleman

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Had one today, was getting into the car, a nissan micra today at the car park and put some stuff in the boot and left the boot up. Got into the car and sat and eat my lunch, a nice salad and had a wee read of the paper. After about 15 minutes got ready to go and reversed the car out of the space, just then a car came past with three fit girls in the car and they were waving at me, so I thought, "David you've pulled, you still got it". Got to the entrance and the girls turned right and they all looked back and waved at me and I thought, "WOW", I turned left and went on my way with a big smile on my face. I got about a mile down the road and looked in my rear view mirror and realised why they had been waving........I'd left the boot up!!!:(

 

Maybe they did like you, and they thought it was a big spoiler

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since jez doesent seem to want to get over this -

 

at jae on the sunday i realised ive ran out of cigarettes so decide to go find somewhere - at this point cleverly i recall seeing holiday inn so get on my feet (since all you *$3-3*£$*$&) had blocked my car in, and begin my foot patrol escapade. tired and drained of energy im dragging myself down there taking me atleast 30 mins, and then plod along back to the supra stand only to 10 mins later realise the bar whcih was 20 metres from our stand sold them!

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at my old school there where some door latches which where quite low for me, the height of my lips. i was talking to a friend not reallly looking where im going, just looked up and walked into the fucking door fullspeed!

 

nose a little bend now, blood everywhere lol...

 

i shoudl have sued the school for not hangin up 'mind your head' signs...

 

i shouldve

 

lol

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I once stuffed a piece of Lego up my nose to practice picking bogies. Unfortunately it got stuck and didn't come out again until 2 days later (I didn't tell anyone, I was too scared of a trip to hospital. I must have been about 7).

 

Dont feel bad about that, my youngest son did exactly the same thing, only he didnt tell us, and we were all wodering what the awful smell was, as his nose became more and more infected, it took several trips to the dr's to find the cause, it was up there for nearly 3 months.

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I once stuffed a piece of Lego up my nose to practice picking bogies. Unfortunately it got stuck and didn't come out again until 2 days later (I didn't tell anyone, I was too scared of a trip to hospital. I must have been about 7).

 

Dont feel bad about that, my youngest son did exactly the same thing, only he didnt tell us, and we were all wodering what the awful smell was, as his nose became more and more infected, it took several trips to the dr's to find the cause, it was up there for nearly 3 months.

 

LOL. Like father like son! I dread to think what the grandson's going to do! ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...

More embarrassing than stupid but:-

 

Went to the cinema last night. Mike bought tickets whilst I visited the ladies room to powder my nose.

 

Came out, tickets bought, walk through to screen 8 which is where our film is on (according to Mike). Got to the appropriate screen, room is packed. Receive a few strange looks but you always do if you come in late. Scramble over a few people to find some seats near the back, ignore what's on the screen and get comfy etc.

 

The film that's on is that Break up one with Jennifer whats her face from friends, and I'm thinking, that's a long advert.

 

I said to Mike to check the tickets and he confirms, definitely 8. I take a closer look and realise it says screen 5.

 

Hang head in shame and make for the exit. :)

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Guest gzaerojon
Here's a classic from my wife .. that happened today :)

 

Got home from work to find the misses in a wound up mood but still managing to laugh at what had happened .. which is a miracle.

 

So yesterday she goes to Asda and gets a new iron, about the 10th we've had from them and actually gets a different model. Starts doing the ironing this afternoon and plugs in new iron .. nothing .. makes sure wall plug is working .. yep .. retries .. nope no heat or steam, nothing.

 

Changes fuse with appliance that deffo works, back to socket .. nothing.

 

Wait for it...

 

Strops for a change and storms off down to Asda to Customer Services, waits in queue and gets to the woman finally (by this time a couple of people behind her, including a bloke)

 

Keep waiting....

 

Misses "Just bought this iron yesterday and it doesn't work"

 

Woman "Really? That's strange, I'll just plug it in and check"

 

You know it's coming ...

 

Plugs in new iron

 

Woman "Oh yeah, it doesn't work does it"

 

Woman now opens instruction manual .... here it comes ...

 

Woman "Oh look, have you tried switching it on with the heat dial, if you turn it from min towards max it starts working?"

 

Misses "ahem .. I'll go home and do the ironing now"

 

Queue of people "snigger"

 

Me "Have you tried turning it off and turning it on" :D :D

 

She'll never live that down :rlol:

 

 

 

 

lol sounds like when i took my halfords digital tyre gauge back as it did not work, pushed the button on it and nothing

 

get to halfords where i am served by a girl, she tries switching it on with the button... nothing.

she takes out the instructions (i don't do "reading instructions") then walks over to a trailer that they have in store and takes a reading from the tyre :blink:

 

 

she said it turns on when you take the reading, and the button is there to switch it from psi to bar

 

 

i left a bit sharpish :innocent:

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More embarrassing than stupid but:-

 

Went to the cinema last night. Mike bought tickets whilst I visited the ladies room to powder my nose.

 

Came out, tickets bought, walk through to screen 8 which is where our film is on (according to Mike). Got to the appropriate screen, room is packed. Receive a few strange looks but you always do if you come in late. Scramble over a few people to find some seats near the back, ignore what's on the screen and get comfy etc.

 

The film that's on is that Break up one with Jennifer whats her face from friends, and I'm thinking, that's a long advert.

 

I said to Mike to check the tickets and he confirms, definitely 8. I take a closer look and realise it says screen 5.

 

Hang head in shame and make for the exit. :)

 

This reminds me of something my Bro did many years ago when he was a bit younger.

 

Went to the cinema to see The Phantom Menace when it first came out. He went to the toilet about half way through the film and after half hour or so we were a little bit worried bout him. Now he isnt noted for his sense of direction, in fact its fecking aweful, but what hed done is gone into the screen next door to ours, which happened to be showing the same film but 15 mins behind. He proceeded to sit in his correct seat and carry on watching the film. After about 10 mins when he realised that he had seen that bit of the film, he turned to my dad sat next to him to ask what was going on. Obviously it wasnt our dad but a complete stranger. He quickly made for the exit and eventually found us in the right screen. Oh how we laughed at him.

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We did that last night... I miss-read the ticket and we watched about ten minutes of the hilarious comedy 'The Break-Up' with the supremely talented Vince Vaughan (avoid it).. before we realised it was the wrong screen! we just looked at each other and said, 'this is a long trailer'.... and then left..

 

..and to add to the embarrassment of pushing past all these people to get to the seats (half way though the film, complete with Coke and Popcorn, large for an extra 30p) and then only to leave ten minutes later... we'd come straight from the gym and I put my trousers and t-shirt to change into in my gym bag, but forgot to put a belt in... or (I hate to admit this) any pants... and my trousers are the snuggest of fits and I'm sadly in a 'commando stylee'... so as I'm walking out of the screen, down the steps in front of all those people.. I have my hands full (phone, keys, popcorn etc.) and my trousers are not really staying where they should... thank the lord nothing happened, but I came *this close* to pissing off a whole cinema of people breaking in half way through the film, only to disturb them again ten minutes later to get out, and then nearly showing them my arse as I left....

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We did that last night... I miss-read the ticket and we watched about ten minutes of the hilarious comedy 'The Break-Up' with the supremely talented Vince Vaughan (avoid it).. before we realised it was the wrong screen! we just looked at each other and said, 'this is a long trailer'.... and then left..

 

..and to add to the embarrassment of pushing past all these people to get to the seats (half way though the film, complete with Coke and Popcorn, large for an extra 30p) and then only to leave ten minutes later... we'd come straight from the gym and I put my trousers and t-shirt to change into in my gym bag, but forgot to put a belt in... or (I hate to admit this) any pants... and my trousers are the snuggest of fits and I'm sadly in a 'commando stylee'... so as I'm walking out of the screen, down the steps in front of all those people.. I have my hands full (phone, keys, popcorn etc.) and my trousers are not really staying where they should... thank the lord nothing happened, but I came *this close* to pissing off a whole cinema of people breaking in half way through the film, only to disturb them again ten minutes later to get out, and then nearly showing them my arse as I left....

 

Errr he was referring to the story which I told about last night's cinema trip. There was no need to mention your pants. :rolleyes:

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  • 1 month later...

I once had a calibra and had it serviced at vauxhall quite regular.

 

well once i had picked my car up from the service only to find my locking nuts was missing. So i went back and queued for 30 minutes to find out what the crack was. The old chap said "they must be in your car" I said "NO WAY ARE THEY THERE" So i started blaming the mechanics for stealing the locking nuts. anyway this big bruiser came out kicking off saying " don't accuse me of stealing. this is a respectable company go away OR I'LL STICK MY FOOT UP YOUR ARSE"

well i only phoned the police[sHOCK][/sHOCK]

 

they came down asking questions and noting things down.

they told me to go home and calm down and they will be in touch as buy this point i was pretty pissed off. When i got in the car guess what was rolling around under the pedals. hey, hey. the bloody lockin nut. what a dip stick. i just got out of there and never went back.[OOPS][/OOPS]

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest DarkAge

I was changing my wheels when a mate came over and said lets go get something to eat. I put the wheels on, handtighted the bolts and lowered the car and drove off.

 

Everything was fine on the motorway doing 70mph. As soon as i came off and did turns i would hear clonk-clonk-clonk.

 

After the noises got worse for every turn i stopped the car to check where the noises were coming from.

 

Boy did i feel stupid when i realized my wheels were about to fall off.

 

Thank god nothing happened though.

 

 

--------------------

www.ratemytoyota.net

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In may this year i went out with a few mates to a clum local to me.

I have Arthritis so i usually take a wheelchair.

 

The thing is, i needed the bog so feeling lazy i decided to use the disabled bogs (which where locked). None of the staff knew who kept the key and they told me to wait 15 minuits for a replacement key. I went ballistic and made the new girl there cry because i tolder her to FIND THE KEY NOW!!!!!!!!!

 

Balls i said and got out of my chair and went to the gents, much to the amusment to others in the club (Andy from little britain moment)

 

When i came out of the bogs the woman had found the key and was standing net to my wheelchair looking very annoyed.

 

IV FOUND THE BLOODY KEY NOW YOU LAZY B*****D she said

 

I Chuckled and turned round to sit in my wheelchair. as i do this i knock the wheels and the wheelchair moves. Que me hitting the floor very hard.

 

funny at the time but my leg started to cane, net day i went to A&E they x-rayd it and told me i had fractured my tibia, torn my quad ligament and ruptured the quad!!!!!

 

I had surgery and it has taken 4 months to get walking again!!

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stupid moments ,jesus i have one most days!!! my nick name is "shambles"

 

how about this one, lost all my car/house keys rolling about in the woods (like u do) .got home 3 hours later climbed through bathroom window stood on toilet which bent water intake pipe a little causing slight leek.as i was having a bad day i kicked the cistern in temper which shattered and flooded floor couldnt locate main water tap before water collapsed lounge ceiling causing £3000 damage in total.

 

just another day in the shambles house

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