edd_t Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 haha i know a girl that was having fun in the bathroom! left her rabbit on the side of the bath when she had finished. remembered it half and hour later, ran back to get it, but it hasnt been seen since, and her parents have never mentioned it either! spooky! lol the things women do! teehee... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonW Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 A girl we know and I should say quite a shy girl too, decided one day to place an order with Anne Summers on-line(she would never have gone into the actual shop for fear of being spotted). The order confirmation was sent to her Hotmail address. Because of some glitch with hotmail this order confirmation was forwarded to her entire address book including elderly family members, parents and absolutely everyone she knew. So we all now know that she has in her posession a Delux Rampant Rabbit and six....yes six packets of cleansing wipes!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 i think a new thread should be started "Let's hear the stupid stories about other people you know" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 OK I'm sticking this Good call Rosie Gaz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptik Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Just thought of one... I was about 14 and went swimming with a friend of mine. I remember wearing multicoloured bermuda shorts but they weren't proper trunks, so did not have a lining inside. We were mucking about for half an hour or so on the huge floats and i decided to take a rest. sat up on the edge of the pool with feet in the water, legs wide open. I look down as it felt a bit breezy downstairs and see the old chap flopped out over the side of the pool. I had managed to rip a hole the size of a small football in the underside of my shorts so the individual leg holes were actually just 1 huge gap now. I faked being ill and said i had to go. My mate never saw what had happened but im pretty sure half the kids in the pool were having nightmares that night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snooze Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 OK I'm sticking this I bet that's what SHE said at the time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvasurfa Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I ate some spaghetti hoops and sneezed half a dozen whole hoops out once! Teach me not too chew my food!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Just thought of one... I was about 14 and went swimming with a friend of mine. I remember wearing multicoloured bermuda shorts but they weren't proper trunks, so did not have a lining inside. We were mucking about for half an hour or so on the huge floats and i decided to take a rest. sat up on the edge of the pool with feet in the water, legs wide open. I look down as it felt a bit breezy downstairs and see the old chap flopped out over the side of the pool. I had managed to rip a hole the size of a small football in the underside of my shorts so the individual leg holes were actually just 1 huge gap now. I faked being ill and said i had to go. My mate never saw what had happened but im pretty sure half the kids in the pool were having nightmares that night. no disrespect but think i prefer visual thoughts of the champers bottle lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptik Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 no disrespect but think i prefer visual thoughts of the champers bottle lol Who doesn't!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieSteve Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 i think a new thread should be started "Let's hear the stupid stories about other people you know" GREAT Lad I used to work with was a crazy bloke. Always out on the drink. One night his mate pulled some bird and took her back to her house. He woke up, she was gone and so was his clothes with his wallet in. He got up and, thinking she'd robbed him, shat on her pillow. He was juuuust about done when she walked in wearing his shirt carrying breakfast in bed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvasurfa Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 That's a winner!!! hahahahahahaha everyone in the offices face has just been sprayed with hobnobs and tea!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chase Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Can't think od anything I've done - But used to have a mate that we called 'Dizzy'. He really had no common sense... He bought an old shape kitted up/lowered 3 series beemer, and managed to catch the exhaust on something. So with sparks flying as he dragged the exhaust along the ground, he went and pulled into a petrol station Another time, he rang up directory enquiries, and when they asked for a name and address, he gave his own! He wrote the number down, hung up before realising it was his number :D Another mate went home from the pub one night when he was living back at his parents house, and sat downstairs to watch a bit of TV while he ate a pizza. He flicked on the (ahem) 10 minute freeview He woke up the next morning, still in the chair, with his pants round his ankles, the TV was off, curtains had been opened, and there was a cup of tea next to him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tone Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 Lol, some well funny stories here. The first time I stayed at my ex-girlfriends house I was completely bladdered and literally passed out on her bedroom floor. I remember waking up in the middle of the night desperate for a pee and stumbling around searching for the toilet whilst still in a drunken stupor. Safe in the knowledge that I'd found the toilet, I returned to her room and my drunken slumber on the floor... It was only in the morning when I heard here mum asking "why is the carpet round the laundry basket sopping wet?" Amazingly I was with her for 3 1/2 years!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 When I was younger and in the throws of growing up (about 13) I was in a large hardware store that was on two floors. A very attractive girl with a short skirt went up the stairs to the top floor. The stairs were an open type spiral set and like any red blooded male I watched from beneath to catch a glimpse. However I was so busy watching that I failed to notice the display stand full of nails and screws in front of me. I walked staright into it as I was too busy looking up. The rest as they say is history, the crash and rattle of the items was still echoing in my ears as I left the shop in a hurry:( By the way they were white and lacy:whistle: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 thats reminded me of something. I was walking to work a couple of years back. it was autumn, so the time of year when all girls in the city wear short skirts and knee high boots One such girl walked in front of me, of course my eyes followed as she walked off. the next thing i knew, I had walked into the side of a volvo which had stopped infront of me and was waiting to turn into the road at a crossing! haha. but thinking about it, if she walked past me 5 seconds earlier id have probably been bouncing off the volvos bonnet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSupra Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Thought I'd contribute since pretty much everyone else has! I've broken a few things in my time, most of them in fairly comical ways: Broke a finger when trying to show off - stand with a football in between your legs, and bending over to try and 'scoop' the ball and throw it as far as you can behind you (if you know what i mean). Me being a dumbass caught my finger on the ground and *crack!!!* That hurt like hell. Broke my leg playing football (damn those footballs!) trying to take a shot but kicked the floor, broken in two places, and torn ligaments, 3 months in a cast and 6 months physio - nice! Best one, as a kid, was playing about with some cucumber *ahem*, chopping it up randomly cos my mum was out and i liked playing with knives! Anyway, my brother was there too, and he liked the game, however unbeknown to me, he reached up to the side to grab some cucumber while i took a glance at the tv, and i chopped the top of his middle finger off - oops! The cucumber resembled tomato now! He's never forgiven me for that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamanC Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 ow nasty i have a story as to how i wrote the local car wash off earlier in the year, rather than warbleing on ill dig out my statement i sent to the insurance company Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 ow nasty i have a story as to how i wrote the local car wash off earlier in the year, rather than warbleing on ill dig out my statement i sent to the insurance company lmao... that sounds like a classic in the making Gaz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Peace Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 ooops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Peace Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 I once tried to bite the end off a tube of Superglue that had got clogged up. As I snapped the crusty bit off a load of the glue went into my mouth and stuck my top teeth to my bottom teeth, my top lip to my bottom lip, my lips to the front of my teeth and my tongue to the back of my teeth. It took bloody ages of soaking my face in celulose thinners to get the superglue off as well. : What a shame you came unstuck Jake:stickpoke Lol these stories are well funny I gotta stop laughing so I can breath:rlol: I'm always doing stupid things..so dont know where to start...but one that springs to mind...was working on a film set at 18 years old... I asked one of the Sparks where the toilet was and I was real desperate for a slash I can tell you..(we were filming the Interior of a bungelow in Devon...) He directed me to the other end of the hallway and sure enough I found the little boys room..went in lifted the lid and pissed into the bowl...(i'd been drinking a lot the night before so it was a long one..tmi:) Anyway i gave a big sigh of relief zipped up my jeans without catching myself he he...went to flush the chain and...............to my surprise....and horror...... the whole toilet just moved a few inches (it was a fcuking prop duuuuuhhh)....I was so embarresed and luckily no-one saw me... All I remember was us then shooting a scene incorporating the 'said' prop:blush: and then pissing myself laughing when the poor prop guy (who was a big nasty looking fcuker) removed it shortly afterwards pouring Urine all over himself... I was like:haha: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Thought of another one last night. One of those i wanna die moments when i was at school. A few friends of mine liked to smoke a lot of weed when we were at school, so one day, over the school network i sent him a message saying. "please report to the school san for a drugs test" Naturally i thought it was really funny but he did not , Here comes the bad bit, one of my friends told me that if i replaced his username with a * it would send a message to EVERY computer on the network.....yep, i did it. The head, the deputy, all the teachers, the bursars office...the lot, they all got it. Yep i nearly got in serious trouble and my friends almost did get drug tested...oops. One of them when he read it ran to his room and hid in his cupboard for an hour to try not to get caught...kids eh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamanC Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Ok as promissed. One day sitting doing F all @ work the MD decides to actually make me do something......."Daman, take the van to the car wash" Now my works van is a pug partner, which a cross between a large and small van, either way its a bastard to park. ok so here is "my account" of what happened which was passed onto my boss for the insurance claim I purchased a bronze car wash option and returned to the van. I drove into the entrance and found someone was already in there so waited patently. A few minutes latter the shutters opened and were able to drive in looking out for the rails you have to park between. I parked and double checked for the rails “yup spot on” little did I know they were the rails for the actual car wash arms, not the guidance arms. The car wash started and I picked up my phone to enter the expense for the car wash on the matrix. The brush’s then passed me knocking the drivers wing mirror in. thinking it was the brush’s I dismissed any thoughts that the arms were going to attack me. They passed and then proceeded to make a deep screeching noise down the side of the van, at that point I went for the ememergency button. After I finished shaking off the soap and water, the front shutter opened with a dismayed shop assistant. She asks if im ok etc and then explains the van wasn’t within the rails and get the manger to reset the washer. The manger turns up a couple of minutes latter and explains that he can’t reset it without further risk to the van. Thinking that the gym is paying off I proceed to then try to push it out, and swiftly realise that more bench press’s are needed and decided to drive out. The crunch noise’s return as I creep away from the arm. I went inside to fill out a form and swiftly made my getaway. What i didnt include in that statement was i blatently drove over the guidance rails. When aiming for the spot i came accross something stopping me driving straight ahead (the guidance rail), i investigated by opening my door to have a look. Now car washes are faily dark inside, so stupidly i mistaked this as being a broken part of an exhaust (Duuuuuuhhhhh) . I proceeded to rev the living crap out of this poor van in order to get it to go over the 'broken exhaust' in order to get the van to park in the "spot on" spot. The result was one half of the van was tottally fcuked, after all a car wash arm had been trying to mate with it, the garage actually appoligised to me aaaannd i wrote the car wash off!!!! Because of one arm getting stuck halfway on the van and the other arm carrying on as normal to the back of the car wash, it sheered off somewhere along the supporting arm. For the next month i chuckled to myself everytime i drove past the car wash as a horde of engineers were assigned to task of replacing the entire car wash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 i got one from a week or so ago. Doing some last little bits of decorating in our spare room and came to fit the plug and light switches. One of of plugs sits on/in the skirting board and when i had connected in (switched the mains off to not electrocute myself cos that would be really silly) found that it didnt fit in the same gap the old one did. the skirts needed about 5mm each side shaving away. Now having only recently move into the house i dont have a full quota of tools and certainly didnt have a chisel. Looking round the room i found the only tool that i thought would be up to the job.....The swiss army knife. Now i wasnt completely stupid and realised that there was a risk of it shutting on me so i made sure that i was shaving in a downward motion keeping the blade open. Anyway after about 20 mins of this i was getting nowhere and increasingly frustrated, i grabbed the handle and started pressing the point of the blade into the wood. Needless to say the force was enough to shut the blade and with 18stone of idiot pushing it, it damn near sliced through my finger at the 1st knuckle. Right to the bone it went. Anyway, stitched myself up after the 2 hours it took the blood to stop and thought id go tidy my tools away and heres the best bit... Forgot id turned the mains back on and proceeded to stick another of my fingers behind the socket and nearly flew across the room. Thats enough DIY for me for the near future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Both very highly commendable efforts guys though. Award goes to Daman for the most costly mistake! Gaz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRalphMan Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 Quite a few years ago now, a bunch of us drove from Chingford to Epping to play footy. The grass was quite long at the time, but we proceded to have a kick around. I launched myself at the ball and slide along the ground. Stood up and everyone else fell over laughing. I looked down and noticed a large brown streak down my light coloured jeans.. Yep, I had slid in a dogs turd. Lobbed them in a bin and drove back to my mates where I borrowed a pair to go home in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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