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Okay, lets hear your 'stupid moments' !!!


Muffleman

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LMAO!!

 

ok, here's another from me.

 

I’m flying a RC model helicopter in the back garden, your not suppose to do this because of its size (you need special insurance and clubs to fly within. The carbon fibre blades could easily chop off an arm or hand.)

 

The warning lights starts flashing letting me know the batteries low in the transmitter and I bring the helicopter into land. Suddenly the transmitter go’s dead and the helicopter develops a mind of its own.

 

After a few heart wrenching moments the model starts to slow down only hampered by the occasional gust of wind. I think to myself that maybe I can recover the helicopter before it crashes. Slowly inching towards the engine I crawl across and attempt to pull out the fuel line, remembering the spinning blades are only a few inched away from my head and face.

 

eventually I pull the fuel line off and retreat to a safe distance.

BIG MISTAKE!!!

 

As the model sucks up fresh air the engine runs leaner and at higher speeds creates more lift sending the model up into the air and over to the nextdoors garden. CRASH into greenhouse

 

Luckily no one hurt and little damage done, but a lesson lernt for me :(

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spend 250 quid on wheel refurb 250 quid on new brakes, spend all day f**in about changing over. 4 weeks later spin car and trash 2 wheels and rear brakes..........:drown: :drown:

 

not pleased

 

tt steve

 

oh and go to through water over car with bucket and get too close and rag the front wing with the bucket!!!!!! marks are still there.:faint:

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We have all had those moments.

 

Number of years ago ( lots in fact ) I used to be a DJ at a top London club and had the chance to DJ at a big showbiz party, well on the night I had my white suit on and was there behind the biggest sound system ever and had everyone up and doing their thing fan bloody tastic, lots of really fit women coming over and chatting to me and famous stars asking me to play their tunes anyway you get the picture.

 

So later in the evening there is an act on and he is supposed to be the great great great grandson of Wild Bill Hickok, OK he comes on and I take a break no problem had my eye on a honey but fat chance Wild Bill grabs me and asks me to help him with his act, can't say no in front of everybody so go along with him and start to do what he ask's.

 

So there he is lassoing everything in sight including me and other items, throwing bowie knives again at targets including me ( Should not have worn a white suit) and we are nearly at the end of his act so feeling really good as I have survived and everybody has really clapped.

 

Now he turns to everybody and ask's for silence as this part of his act is really dangerous ( F**K me) and he produces this big and I mean big revolver he comes over to me and places me against this padded wall that his roadies have brought onto the stage and in a voice only I can hear tells me to remain really still and not to move no matter what happens.

 

Right now I really am starting to feel the A**hole go in and out and try to keep up the big smile, he starts by shooting out a few balloons above me and a couple of cans either side and I start to relax but then absolute horror sets in as he comes over and places a playing card between my legs and one either side of my body and they are close only about 20mm away.

 

Closing my eyes and praying that I would not let my self down I stand there waiting, I hear the first shot and then the 2nd still alive, the 3rd shot rings out and nothing I am alive and everybody is going wild clapping and shouting, I open my eye's and think this is bloody great loads of people rushing towards me, but wait there is a look of horror on their faces the first lady reaches me and asks me to sit down and if I am Ok at this point I look down and there it is a bloody blood soaked hole in my crouch, I start to scream like a baby and fall to the floor.

 

This is it I think I am going to die and keep screaming, within a few seconds even though it felt like hours at the time a paramedic cuts my strides off and reveals this small scratch on my leg just below my bollocks where the 22 round had caught me, it did not even need a plaster.

 

Needless to say that after showing my true colors I made that I did not feel well enough to go on and left.

 

I never did get asked to do the next one, wonder why.

 

:limp:

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i dont do accidents by halves, and all of mine resulted in some kind of serious injury!

 

a number of years ago i had, as my first car a Mini. i was wiring a stereo up to the battery in the boot. said battery was on charge, and had been for a couple of days. now i was only 16 at this time! ...so im tightening the clamps back up on the battery terminal, and manage to short circuit the battery and cause a spark. KABOOM - next thing i know im lying on my back in massive pain, not knowing what the fook had happened! so in a daze, i stumbled to the corner grabbed a massive fire extinguisher and ran to the back of the car (i thought i had ignited the petrol tank, the bang was that loud!) my dad met me there and told me to put it down, i had detonated some Hydrogen gas that gets given off during charging, exploded the battery and covered myself in batery acid, including a nasty cut on my arm where some plastic battery casing had made like shrapnel and cut me, so my arms, my shirt and hair are being gently burned by the acid. including the cut - trust me that stung!

 

i can hereby state, i have never knwon such pain!

 

or theres the time i was helping my dad in his garage, now my dad is into Classic cars in a big way, but used to have WW2 army lorries before that, these lorries had radiators the size of cars on the front to keep thier huge engines cool. as was helping my dad, said radiator fell off its perch in the rafters and fell on me, didnt crush me but had a bloody good go, the steel 'vanes' tore an awful lot of skin from my back, and it was touch and go for a few days wether id need skin grafts!

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Being best man at a mates wedding, outside the church after the photos making sure everyone was accounted for and everyone knew how to get to the reception etc....everyones left, and I get in my car, start the engine and, SHIT I dont know where the hell the reception is....no mobile phones in those days, so I had to hit every likely venue in a ten mile radius of Bursledon before I found it

 

As a teenager, getting home from work, going into the kitchen where my landlady was at the sink washing up...going up to her and grabbing her ass with both hands to suprise her, only to find her husband had come back from Saudi that day and was sat at the table behind me glaring at me with, as I recall, a WTF expression

 

Riding my motorbike home in the middle of the night after a party, wearing a scarf and full-face helmet, and being sick at 60 mph

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i dont do accidents by halves, and all of mine resulted in some kind of serious injury!

 

a number of years ago i had, as my first car a Mini. i was wiring a stereo up to the battery in the boot. said battery was on charge, and had been for a couple of days. now i was only 16 at this time! ...so im tightening the clamps back up on the battery terminal, and manage to short circuit the battery and cause a spark. KABOOM - next thing i know im lying on my back in massive pain, not knowing what the fook had happened! so in a daze, i stumbled to the corner grabbed a massive fire extinguisher and ran to the back of the car (i thought i had ignited the petrol tank, the bang was that loud!) my dad met me there and told me to put it down, i had detonated some Hydrogen gas that gets given off during charging, exploded the battery and covered myself in batery acid, including a nasty cut on my arm where some plastic battery casing had made like shrapnel and cut me, so my arms, my shirt and hair are being gently burned by the acid. including the cut - trust me that stung!

 

i can hereby state, i have never knwon such pain!

 

or theres the time i was helping my dad in his garage, now my dad is into Classic cars in a big way, but used to have WW2 army lorries before that, these lorries had radiators the size of cars on the front to keep thier huge engines cool. as was helping my dad, said radiator fell off its perch in the rafters and fell on me, didnt crush me but had a bloody good go, the steel 'vanes' tore an awful lot of skin from my back, and it was touch and go for a few days wether id need skin grafts!

 

 

Sorry I know it was probably not nice , but I am sat here in front of my computer crying my eyes out in laighter at you "stupid" moment. Top class!!

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Was on guard duty when in training. I had done a security check on a building and my mate and co-guard had wandered off a bit. He shouted to me to come look at something. It was a clear and very chilly morning after a long night shift so I broke into a trot to catch him up across a parade square. I get to the edge of the parade square and suddenly I'm staring up at the sky wondering WTF had just happened. They had only gone and put a thin wire rope between the poles around the square which caught me at bollock level and after I'd run into it and taken all the slack up it had catapulted me backwards almost knocking me out. Don't you just love it though when the incident is compounded by your mate standing over your dazed ass laughing like a hyena.

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  • 1 month later...

Here's mine...

 

I was quite into weight training as a student. Creatine had just hit the market and was seriously expensive stuff (about £30 for a small tub). I went down the GNC store and found that they were selling two tubs for the price of one. Woohoo.

 

So I bought the twin pack and went back to my student home where all my house mates were hanging out.

 

The two tubs were wrapped in a plastic sheath. Rather than get the scissors out, I thought, "Hmm, I'll just puncture this plastic by jamming my thumb into it." The next thing I know, my thumb is dislocated severely and is poking out at a very peculiar angle. I slapped my thumb hard with the other hand and it went back in with a satisfying pop.

 

One of my house mates fainted.

 

I was in so much pain I couldn't do any exercise for the next three weeks.

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2005 ended up in belgium on my second trip to the ring with a German navigator.

Missed a boat, three flights and a train.

Went to run my clutch in and got wrecked by a Punto.

Called a young lady the wrong name at a bad time :-(

Jumped around with a brush playing air guitar for a few mins before i noticed 3 baffled people watching.

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My very good friends dad was top man in police car unit m25,his wife was the most straight women ive ever meet,she is proper proper nice.

My friends girlfriend was very much into sex and exploring!!!

He decided to tie her in a cross position naked to his bed and push fizzie sweets up her.(dont ask me why).....she laughed so much that they went too far up,he tried his figers to get them back but to no avail.

He tried some pens but still no sweets,he had a great idea of getting two long snapon screw drivers from the garage to get them back.

This is the bad bit,while he was in the garage his mum made him tea and biccies and yes she took them into his bed room to find his girlfriend spread eagled on the bed naked,she turned and walked back out without a word and no one has said anything about it.

D.

Ohh the shame !!!

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My very good friends dad was top man in police car unit m25,his wife was the most straight women ive ever meet,she is proper proper nice.

My friends girlfriend was very much into sex and exploring!!!

He decided to tie her in a cross position naked to his bed and push fizzie sweets up her.(dont ask me why).....she laughed so much that they went too far up,he tried his figers to get them back but to no avail.

He tried some pens but still no sweets,he had a great idea of getting two long snapon screw drivers from the garage to get them back.

This is the bad bit,while he was in the garage his mum made him tea and biccies and yes she took them into his bed room to find his girlfriend spread eagled on the bed naked,she turned and walked back out without a word and no one has said anything about it.

D.

Ohh the shame !!!

 

OMG and she was ok with him sticking screwdrivers up her??? (the girlfriend, not the mum)

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Lol. I went out with a bird that told me her embarrassing story. One day after some sort of celebration and dragging her p*ssed up ass home swigging a bottle of champers she got the horn. She proceeded up to her room (she was between places and crashing with her old dear) and decided to make an alternative use of the now empty bottle. Needless to say disaster struck and she got herself in an airlock situation and couldn't get the bugger back out :) Had to walk down stairs to the kitchen past her mum walking like a duck with a pineapple up its ass to get a straw to releive the vacuum :D Now thats gotta be embarrasin too. Can't beleive she told me that either (that said she was very p*ssed at the time, in fact she was always very p*ssed apart from the time she dumped me go figure)

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