hogmaw Posted December 29, 2007 Share Posted December 29, 2007 I normally park the supra on the drive away from the garage, today there was a car parked in my usual spot so I parked in front of the garage instead. When I opened the garage door it came out and KERKLUNNNK!!! as it hit the front of the supra. NOOOOOO!!! And now I have a deep 3" scrape near the front light. It was only resprayed a few months back. DOH not happy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 I normally park the supra on the drive away from the garage, today there was a car parked in my usual spot so I parked in front of the garage instead. When I opened the garage door it came out and KERKLUNNNK!!! as it hit the front of the supra. NOOOOOO!!! And now I have a deep 3" scrape near the front light. It was only resprayed a few months back. DOH not happy OUCHY!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiten55 Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 Well ok here we go. One funny and one rather embarrassing one: When I was about 3-4 years old I went out with my dad to a pub football game. Half way my dad needed the loo. Not wanting to leave me alone in a pub full of strangers he took mew into the blokes toilets with him. Back in those days most men's urinals had little smelly stones in the bottom to stop the stench. Long story cut short, when my dad finished his wee he wondered where I got the sweetie from I was now happily sucking on did it taste of beer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 did it taste of beer? No it tasted revolting like washing up liquid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 A funny thing happened the other night, it was seriously embrassing. We all know what its like to want a wee right? but I wanted a poo. Read on. it gets quite messy so be warned. Well I was out going clubbing. IT was my usual club, and they didnt let me in. No biggy. I would go to another club, but before I did, I thought I would walk home and float a log. On the way back I found that i really needed to go. I thought, hey no problem. I can "hold" it till I get home. Then I reallised i was struggling badly, It was starting to hurt so I just had to stop and try and squeeze it further up me and hope it would go away. So there I was. By the road side, grimacing and squeezing. Luckily there was hardly anyone around. Then I thought shit, someone I know lives here. It's a communal house, and I havent seen these guys for a while. I have been out of touch. And it would be pretty wierd to just know on the door and ask to use their toilet. They had a window open, I knocked on that, and said hi (done that before). They asked if i wanted to come in , I said yeah. They opened the door, and let me in, and after a very few words of small talk, I asked to go and use their loo. I ursehd upstairs almost in pain. sat on the loo, and let rip! I was relieved to say the least, but my relief didnt last long when I looked around and saw there was no toliet paper. I stood up As quick as I could, and went to flush the loo. Only it didnt flush. I took lifted off the cistern lid trying to push and prod various bits to get it flush. Couldnt do it! I scrabbled around in the waste paper bin to find bits of loo roll to wipe myself with - luckily there were some useable bits in. I did my thing and pulled up my trousers and wandered downstairs and thought that honesty was the best policy, and decided to tell the guys about the loo. "oh yeah", they said. "it's broken, theres a bucket up there you can use." I wondered back upstairs and after three or four bucket loads of water, I headed down. lighter, and wondering if I should have chanced the walk home that night. I actually went out clubbing with these guys later, and it was a blast. But not as much as a blast as I had had on that loo. I have another story that happened to me in austria, also involving a loo. Basically I flushed the fragrance holder that latches onto the rim down the the loo, and it blocked everything. The family i was staying with were my sister in laws, and I had to break the news to them, in German. I thought I could hide it, but again, I thought it was better to be honest. The next day I noticed they had locked the toliet from the outside so no one could get in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozz Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Has something funny happen to me the other day. Had to go for annual medical in work, at the end nurse asked me for urine sample and gave me a flimsy plastic cup. Went to the bathroom, filled the cup about half way (rest down the toilet). Went to wash my hands. Picked the cup up and saw a few drops around the edge, looked a bit unhygenic so I thought I know, whilst drying my hands under the blow drier I'll just pass the cup under drying the rim. Oops. Well b*gger me if it didn't explode. P1ss everywhere, up the walls, running down the mirror and over my arms. Was like a fountain. Not a good day, was really struggling to keep a straight face when I left the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcAB10 Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 This thread is awsome.... When I was about 7 my brother, his friend and myself thought it would be a good idea to place a house brick on top of the garden gate so when the avenue bully walked through it would fall on his head (we were young and frankly quit stupid) but you can see where this is going.. So after about 10 minutes I somehow got into an argument with my brother and promptly stormed off through the gate.... The last thing I remember was looking down at my white polo shirt that was now half red with my own blood.. You'd think I would learn my lesson but no.. A year or so later after breaking my arm on a skiing trip I thought it would be a good idea to slide down the playground steps railing (Bart Simpson style) half way down and with only one hand for balance I fell backwards splitting my head open on the corner of the stone steps.. Some more stiches and another polo shirt ruined.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Ok this happend just the other day. At me mates house and asks me to drive cause he was lazy so I jump in the drivers seat, strap meself in and just stare at him. He likes what you looking at me like that? I says well are we going then on or what he looks at me funny and says your in the drivers seat you idiot! I'm like ooooh o yeah duh, started up and drove away. I'm not gonna hear the last of this for quite a while! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco79 Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Quite a few years ago i tried re-filling a lighter for the first time, not seeming to have any luck getting the gas in for some reason i think if i try lighting it while filling i will know if the gas is going in . . . . . seconds later i was there with singed eyebrows as the gas escaping from the refill ignited! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buster Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Has something funny happen to me the other day. Had to go for annual medical in work, at the end nurse asked me for urine sample and gave me a flimsy plastic cup. Went to the bathroom, filled the cup about half way (rest down the toilet). Went to wash my hands. Picked the cup up and saw a few drops around the edge, looked a bit unhygenic so I thought I know, whilst drying my hands under the blow drier I'll just pass the cup under drying the rim. Oops. Well b*gger me if it didn't explode. P1ss everywhere, up the walls, running down the mirror and over my arms. Was like a fountain. Not a good day, was really struggling to keep a straight face when I left the bathroom. omg ten mins on and im still laughing just seem like something i could think of doing lmao im still going Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Has something funny happen to me the other day. Had to go for annual medical in work, at the end nurse asked me for urine sample and gave me a flimsy plastic cup. Went to the bathroom, filled the cup about half way (rest down the toilet). Went to wash my hands. Picked the cup up and saw a few drops around the edge, looked a bit unhygenic so I thought I know, whilst drying my hands under the blow drier I'll just pass the cup under drying the rim. Oops. Well b*gger me if it didn't explode. P1ss everywhere, up the walls, running down the mirror and over my arms. Was like a fountain. Not a good day, was really struggling to keep a straight face when I left the bathroom. Hahahahahahaa, just noticed that.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Quite a few years ago i tried re-filling a lighter for the first time, not seeming to have any luck getting the gas in for some reason i think if i try lighting it while filling i will know if the gas is going in . . . . . seconds later i was there with singed eyebrows as the gas escaping from the refill ignited! Many many years ago (before my Dad knew I smoked) I filled my Zippo from a can he kept in the garage. Not realising that there would be loads of fumes around 'cos I had filled it IN the garage, I tested it. Nearly set fire to his Daimler SP250 in the process. Luckily the flames on the bonnet went out pretty quick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Not mine, but close. Some colleagues went over to Italy recently, in a chartered small eight seater jet. Taking off from Bournemouth, good flight, did their business then met the two pilots back at the airport. Got back in the plane, buckled up, steps folded in and door shut...and off to taxi they went...or rather they didnt. Revved up a couple of times, no go, tried again, no go. A couple of guys quipped that the pilots had left the wheel chocks in place, they all laughed, only to see the co-pilot come back, open the door, and....remove the chocks:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 All these memories of cockups!! One of my proudest moments was when I worked at Ford's Powertrain R&D centre. I shared a cubicle with a large chap who was, well, addicted to anything containing chocolate. I came back from lunch with one of the new 4 finger kitkat orange limited edition chockie bars. I sat at my desk munching away and was just finishing the last morsels when my cubicle mate walked in. "Ahhh, orange Kitkat" He said, "Give me a bit". As I'd just finished it, and feeling a bit guilty, I decided to cheer him up with a display of how a Kitkat has all the 'paraphenalia' for a chocoholic..... So I rolled up the paper outer wrapper and stuck it in my mouth, crumbled the last bits of chocolate onto the silver foil and pulled out my gas lighter to get it smoking. Just as I lit the lighter under the foil the Powertrain Engineering Director of Ford Europe walked in with my Mananger, just in time to see the lighter (set on full blast) ignite and flames curl around the side of the foil, singing my eyebrows "Oh! Right" says the director, and walks out again. The look my manager gave me was priceless. Smokey was my nickname from then on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 All these memories of cockups!! One of my proudest moments was when I worked at Ford's Powertrain R&D centre. I shared a cubicle with a large chap who was, well, addicted to anything containing chocolate. I came back from lunch with one of the new 4 finger kitkat orange limited edition chockie bars. I sat at my desk munching away and was just finishing the last morsels when my cubicle mate walked in. "Ahhh, orange Kitkat" He said, "Give me a bit". As I'd just finished it, and feeling a bit guilty, I decided to cheer him up with a display of how a Kitkat has all the 'paraphenalia' for a chocoholic..... So I rolled up the paper outer wrapper and stuck it in my mouth, crumbled the last bits of chocolate onto the silver foil and pulled out my gas lighter to get it smoking. Just as I lit the lighter under the foil the Powertrain Engineering Director of Ford Europe walked in with my Mananger, just in time to see the lighter (set on full blast) ignite and flames curl around the side of the foil, singing my eyebrows "Oh! Right" says the director, and walks out again. The look my manager gave me was priceless. Smokey was my nickname from then on Quality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gazboy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 A kid at work just reminded me of my own silly moment. When I was 17 I worked at an opticians full of women (I was the only guy) and one of them looked really fed up so askedher what was up. "I've got the painters and decorators in" she replied. "Oh, what room are you having done?" I innocently asked. Cue some very knowing looks and smirks and a bewildered teenager. A few years later a female friend mentioned it while grabbing a tampon from her bag and running through the house. That caused a flashback and I nearly died! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 "I've got the painters and decorators in" she replied. "Oh, what room are you having done?" I innocently asked. Cue some very knowing looks and smirks and a bewildered teenager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Had a cup of tea and a cigarette, which always makes me want to go poo. It was a big painful one, and as I looked down in the pan to see what had given me so much grief moments before, my glasses fell off, landing pretty much smack on top of the monster. Bu**er. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 This thread is back too then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 There's no suppressing a quality thread IMO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkR Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I was about 12, and my mum picked me up after school. My younger brother was still playing on the swings and my mum was down the road chatting to a mate, so getting bored, I decided to get into the car. I got in the back seat (car was empty and all doors closed), and closed the door. Only problem was that I closed the door by putting my opposite hand through the slightly open window and pulling on the top frame, slamming all 4 of my fingers in the door from the outside in the process. The worst part was that the car had automatic windows, so I couldn't wind them down to shout for help and the child lock was on, so I couldn't open the door. I was stuck like that for about 10 minutes until someone heard me screaming and called my mum... I had purple dents across all my fingers for about 3 weeks and cramps in my shoulder from being in such an awkward position for so long.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 (edited) I was about 12, and my mum picked me up after school. My younger brother was still playing on the swings and my mum was down the road chatting to a mate, so getting bored, I decided to get into the car. I got in the back seat (car was empty and all doors closed), and closed the door. Only problem was that I closed the door by putting my opposite hand through the slightly open window and pulling on the top frame, slamming all 4 of my fingers in the door from the outside in the process. The worst part was that the car had automatic windows, so I couldn't wind them down to shout for help and the child lock was on, so I couldn't open the door. I was stuck like that for about 10 minutes until someone heard me screaming and called my mum... I had purple dents across all my fingers for about 3 weeks and cramps in my shoulder from being in such an awkward position for so long.... Ouuchhyyyy!!! Kinda reminds me of the incident where I was about 11-12 and thought it would be interesting to see how our Dog feels while travelling in the Boot of our Car (Very old Ford Taurus). I got into the boot and slammed the lid shut, needless to say I didn't like it and started to freak out and hammered at the lid. Took my Parents 5 minutes to find the keys to let me out, in mean time I was sure I was going to die in there. LOL. Edited July 31, 2008 by keancy (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 A few years back I lived with a girlfriend and her dog. I went up the road with the dog to the corner shop to get some beers. Came back with my Stellas etc, sat down, feet on the table, TV on, click & ssssshhhhhhh went the tin, and I proceeded drink. About 15 minutes later gf asks "Where's the dog...?" Right! Can down, feet off the table, grab the keys, out the door, back up the road... Her little fluffy "you forgot me, didn't you?" face when I arrived was priceless. I only did this twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 A few years back I lived with a girlfriend and her dog. I went up the road with the dog to the corner shop to get some beers. Came back with my Stellas etc, sat down, feet on the table, TV on, click & ssssshhhhhhh went the tin, and I proceeded drink. About 15 minutes later gf asks "Where's the dog...?" Right! Can down, feet off the table, grab the keys, out the door, back up the road... Her little fluffy "you forgot me, didn't you?" face when I arrived was priceless. I only did this twice. And then the GF dumped you for leaving her dog behind twice??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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