supraturbochris Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 shane im really sorry to hear this matey Hope you two can work things out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 shane i think gemma couldnt deal with all the present situations, remember last time i was telling you to try talk to her about something, i cant remember i think it was your child or something. but yeah i think everything was getting too much. plently more fish in the sea mate, i hope you find the right one soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaireRZ-S Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Ok well heres my opinion. I think she may have met someone else she might have went out saturday nite and kinda got a taste of being single again doing her own thing etc etc ( i dont mean that she went off with anyone now but you know what i mean). When girls sometimes want to break up with lads they try their best to come up with a excuse (if they dont have any) and also try and put the blame on you which i think she did. She came up with no excuse really and i dont get why she said she got beat up because of you that doesn't make sense if she had no scratch on her head. Let her cool off she mite want to get back with you once she misses you but dont chase her she obviously knows your interested since you didn't break up with her so dont go texting her and calling her 24-7. If ye don't get back together its not the end of the world i was with a lad for 3 years and we broke up and i thought my god what a waste of 3 years n thought i would never find n e one. I'm wit Chris a year and a half now and its great soo different and its great. I think everything happens for a reason . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adnanshah247 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Ok well heres my opinion. I think she may have met someone else she might have went out saturday nite and kinda got a taste of being single again doing her own thing etc etc ( i dont mean that she went off with anyone now but you know what i mean). When girls sometimes want to break up with lads they try their best to come up with a excuse (if they dont have any) and also try and put the blame on you which i think she did. She came up with no excuse really and i dont get why she said she got beat up because of you that doesn't make sense if she had no scratch on her head. Let her cool off she mite want to get back with you once she misses you but dont chase her she obviously knows your interested since you didn't break up with her so dont go texting her and calling her 24-7. If ye don't get back together its not the end of the world i was with a lad for 3 years and we broke up and i thought my god what a waste of 3 years n thought i would never find n e one. I'm wit Chris a year and a half now and its great soo different and its great. I think everything happens for a reason . very well said, couldnt agree more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie_b Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Sorry to hear the news Shane. But at least now you'll be able to concentrate on getting access to your boy without worrying about Gemma getting upset. A blessing in disguise. Shane! I'm so sorry to hear about this. Ivan summed it up well: at least it gives you free reign to try and see your son. It sounds like you saw a particularly unhelpful person at the CAB. I'd look into Legal Aid like Nat said. You might want to go back to the CAB again if you think it'll help: be more specific in what you ask them, e.g. "I've recently been made redundant. Is there any legal assistance I can get to help track down my son's estranged mother and ascertain access rights?" If the CAB person waffles, politely bring them back on course about whether you can get legal help. If you want to chat, then you're welcome to PM me. Oh, and stock up on lemsips.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden1989 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 sorry to hear that shane, i was out on saturday night aswell dont take it to heart so much, leave her to think about things for a while, it might have been a rushed decision and she needed space if u need anything, were only the other side off town if it makes u feel better there wasnt alot off good looking men out on saturday night, (not that i was looking ) where did this supposed fight take place? i may have been in the vicinity.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy442 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Bad luck bud As has been said better off without her. Best advise I can give is have a bit of single time, devoted time to yourself and recharge, that way you cant get hurt As for your ex and son, I really cant understand why people need to hurt each other. Youre the father, you have rights, should be easy to be mature and sort out access Best of luck mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 sorry to hear this mate but now you need to take hold off your life, get up and shake yourself down, you now need to sort things now get to the jobcentre, go around local firms and building sites as the 1st thing you need is a job next go to a 30 min free consultation with a solicitor about contact with your son get rid off emmas contact details as you do not need them anymore, you need to forget her and move on your mind will keep depleting your energy wondering is she seeing someone else, well in my experience she is and the new kid on the block is probably rodgering her right now so live with the fact she has moved on, now you must do too and don,t be rushing into anything to fast so let nat down gently:D ps when a new guy meets a new girl when they are right at it the girl usually mentions the ex during passionate throes, so at least thats some comfort to you hope that helps;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 sorry to hear this mate but now you need to take hold off your life, get up and shake yourself down, you now need to sort things now get to the jobcentre, go around local firms and building sites as the 1st thing you need is a job next go to a 30 min free consultation with a solicitor about contact with your son get rid off emmas contact details as you do not need them anymore, you need to forget her and move on your mind will keep depleting your energy wondering is she seeing someone else, well in my experience she is and the new kid on the block is probably rodgering her right now so live with the fact she has moved on, now you must do too and don,t be rushing into anything to fast so let nat down gently Couldn't have said it better myself! Break ups are never easy, especially for the one who gets dumped. But from the sounds of everything, you're a lot better off without her! She was looking for en excuse to break up with you, and made up wild stories to give her reason. Do you really want to be with someone who wont let you see the son you love so much, someone who makes up crazy stories and blames you for how she feels? It'll be tough at first, but you'll soon see how much greener the grass is now. Move on, you should soon feel a massive weight lifted from your shoulders! You have been given a new freedom, a second chance to live your life how YOU want to, without dissaproving third parties! Take this time to devote to yourself, and be happy! It's nearly Christmas, so see your friends and family, have a grea time, and your new self will attract many a women looking for someone to keep them warm on these cold winter nights! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lbm Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Shane, with one thing and another, it sounds like it's been a bit of a rubbish year- Or has it? I'm with Homer and Ivan on this one. And certainly focus on what you need to do, rather than what you think Gemma may or may not, or should or should not be doing. Best wishes matey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatsupraTT Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 I wouldnt even take her back if she wanted you. Your sons more important remember that and as i said before if she cant accept your son she no good. Loads of girls out there who would accept your son Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 sorry to hear this mate but now you need to take hold off your life, get up and shake yourself down, you now need to sort things now get to the jobcentre, go around local firms and building sites as the 1st thing you need is a job next go to a 30 min free consultation with a solicitor about contact with your son get rid off emmas contact details as you do not need them anymore, you need to forget her and move on your mind will keep depleting your energy wondering is she seeing someone else, well in my experience she is and the new kid on the block is probably rodgering her right now so live with the fact she has moved on, now you must do too and don,t be rushing into anything to fast so let nat down gently:D ps when a new guy meets a new girl when they are right at it the girl usually mentions the ex during passionate throes, so at least thats some comfort to you hope that helps;) :D Whenever these threads pop up Gaz is always on hand with some good advice, he I suspect like me, has had his fair share of broken hearts. I broke up with my girl back in June and I'll be honest with you it's been the worst few months of my life. She consumes my thoughts at all times with the guy she cheated on me with and going out with now. The best thing you can do is not call her, not text her, delete her number and avoid contact at all costs. Trust me on this, no matter how much you want to, stay away from her. It just prolongs the the heart ache. And then, and this is the most important thing, get laid elsewhere. It don't matter if she's fat and ugly, you will feel better. Strange but true... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
how_supra Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Hi you Really sorry for you!! 2009 will be a better year!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 I wouldnt even take her back if she wanted you. Your sons more important remember that and as i said before if she cant accept your son she no good. Loads of girls out there who would accept your son Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooter Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 The CAB recommend me to write her a letter first but if that doesn't work, then go and see a Solicitor which is all no good without an address... I still don't know where she lives and have no other information so I will have to go into town and try and find her... Have you phoned up a private investigator to find out what information would be required to locate her? you may be surprised and find that they can find her with what you already know? Did you look further or seek advice possibly from the contacts on this page regarding the various court forms possibly C3, i 'think' this is the form you will need if you cannot locate her.......but i'm sure the "Families Need Fathers: Helpline 08707 607496" will be able to advise more concisely. Don't worry about legal fees yet just spend a bit of time looking into your options and then if necessary a few quid to find her, then send her a letter as advised and go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr lover Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Shane did you keep the reciepts for her christmas presents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Shane did you keep the reciepts for her christmas presents Nah, recycle them on the new bird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden1989 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 god, you dont take any prisoners do you!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSoop Posted December 2, 2008 Author Share Posted December 2, 2008 shane im really sorry to hear this matey Hope you two can work things out. Hi Chris, thanks but nah it's all over matey... shane i think gemma couldnt deal with all the present situations, remember last time i was telling you to try talk to her about something, i cant remember i think it was your child or something. but yeah i think everything was getting too much. plently more fish in the sea mate, i hope you find the right one soon. Thanks buddy, that's what I think pushed her over the edge... Ok well heres my opinion. I think she may have met someone else she might have went out saturday nite and kinda got a taste of being single again doing her own thing etc etc ( i dont mean that she went off with anyone now but you know what i mean). When girls sometimes want to break up with lads they try their best to come up with a excuse (if they dont have any) and also try and put the blame on you which i think she did. She came up with no excuse really and i dont get why she said she got beat up because of you that doesn't make sense if she had no scratch on her head. Let her cool off she mite want to get back with you once she misses you but dont chase her she obviously knows your interested since you didn't break up with her so dont go texting her and calling her 24-7. If ye don't get back together its not the end of the world i was with a lad for 3 years and we broke up and i thought my god what a waste of 3 years n thought i would never find n e one. I'm wit Chris a year and a half now and its great soo different and its great. I think everything happens for a reason . Hi Claire, I think you are probably right there, she told me she went out on Saturday night and had a great time! The bit that really got me was when she sent me a text saying that she was on her way to Preston when she blatently wasn't!! Then she tells me that she got beaten up because of me... I asked her about it yesterday gain, and she couldn't remember what she told me and changed her story... So I called her bluff and told her that I was going to hunt my ex and her friends down...all I got was ''no don't be so stupid! ''If you do that, that will prove to me that you don't love me''... Yeah right... So she calls me today and tells me that she goes to the police station to report the asault and that her cousin got beaten up on the same night and it was her disgruntled cousin who has a grudge against her family. So I said to her ''so it was nothing to do with me then''?? ''No'' she said - but to start with, she said it did - that was a lie and an excuse! Would I get back with her...no, she is not worth it, suprised as I am to say this... Shane! I'm so sorry to hear about this. Ivan summed it up well: at least it gives you free reign to try and see your son. It sounds like you saw a particularly unhelpful person at the CAB. I'd look into Legal Aid like Nat said. You might want to go back to the CAB again if you think it'll help: be more specific in what you ask them, e.g. "I've recently been made redundant. Is there any legal assistance I can get to help track down my son's estranged mother and ascertain access rights?" If the CAB person waffles, politely bring them back on course about whether you can get legal help. If you want to chat, then you're welcome to PM me. Oh, and stock up on lemsips.... Thanks Steve. Steve, that's pretty much what I said, all this CAB worker gave me was Solicitor's number's, C1 forms and ''help'' trying to track down my ex which came up with nothing... sorry to hear that shane, i was out on saturday night aswell. dont take it to heart so much, leave her to think about things for a while, it might have been a rushed decision and she needed space if u need anything, were only the other side off town if it makes u feel better there wasnt alot off good looking men out on saturday night, (not that i was looking ) where did this supposed fight take place? i may have been in the vicinity.... Thanks Kayla... The ''fight'' took place in South Ham, I am not sure whereabouts though... Do you know of a woman called Amanda Lawson because that's Gemma's friend and was leaving her house at the exact time of 11:30 PM according to Gemma... Bad luck bud As has been said better off without her. Best advise I can give is have a bit of single time, devoted time to yourself and recharge, that way you cant get hurt As for your ex and son, I really cant understand why people need to hurt each other. Youre the father, you have rights, should be easy to be mature and sort out access Best of luck mate Thanks Swampy, you are exactly right, that's what I plan to do and as everyone says to me that it is a blessing in disguise... My ex is a psycho and so is her ''friends'' They hate my guts and like wise and to be honest, I think Claire will make this as tough as possible for me to see my Son... I hope not but I think she will... sorry to hear this mate but now you need to take hold off your life, get up and shake yourself down, you now need to sort things now get to the jobcentre, go around local firms and building sites as the 1st thing you need is a job next go to a 30 min free consultation with a solicitor about contact with your son get rid off emmas contact details as you do not need them anymore, you need to forget her and move on your mind will keep depleting your energy wondering is she seeing someone else, well in my experience she is and the new kid on the block is probably rodgering her right now so live with the fact she has moved on, now you must do too and don,t be rushing into anything to fast so let nat down gently:D ps when a new guy meets a new girl when they are right at it the girl usually mentions the ex during passionate throes, so at least thats some comfort to you hope that helps Thanks Gaz, you have a way with words... I think you are right because it was just so sudden how and why she ended it... I am looking for jobs everywhere and luckily an application form came through today which I have been waiting for so I hope something good comes of it... As for my Son, that is my priority and I have to find my ex in town as there is no other way of contacting her... As I am an expert in the bedroom department, Gemma will be saying my name all the time... Oh and as for Nat, Gaz, I think it will be the the other way around... Couldn't have said it better myself! Break ups are never easy, especially for the one who gets dumped. But from the sounds of everything, you're a lot better off without her! She was looking for en excuse to break up with you, and made up wild stories to give her reason. Do you really want to be with someone who wont let you see the son you love so much, someone who makes up crazy stories and blames you for how she feels? It'll be tough at first, but you'll soon see how much greener the grass is now. Move on, you should soon feel a massive weight lifted from your shoulders! You have been given a new freedom, a second chance to live your life how YOU want to, without dissaproving third parties! Take this time to devote to yourself, and be happy! It's nearly Christmas, so see your friends and family, have a grea time, and your new self will attract many a women looking for someone to keep them warm on these cold winter nights! You're right Benkei... Shane, with one thing and another, it sounds like it's been a bit of a rubbish year- Or has it? I'm with Homer and Ivan on this one. And certainly focus on what you need to do, rather than what you think Gemma may or may not, or should or should not be doing. Best wishes matey Thanks buddy, yes it has been a crap year for me and things just seem to keep going wrong... However, at least I am now single, I can do want I want and I hopefully can see my Son with no major drama's! I wouldnt even take her back if she wanted you. Your sons more important remember that and as i said before if she cant accept your son she no good. Loads of girls out there who would accept your son Thanks Nat... I don't plan to get back with her, she has shown hertrue colours as a liar being childish and selfish... Especially after today's phonecall... Whenever these threads pop up Gaz is always on hand with some good advice, he I suspect like me, has had his fair share of broken hearts. I broke up with my girl back in June and I'll be honest with you it's been the worst few months of my life. She consumes my thoughts at all times with the guy she cheated on me with and going out with now. The best thing you can do is not call her, not text her, delete her number and avoid contact at all costs. Trust me on this, no matter how much you want to, stay away from her. It just prolongs the the heart ache. And then, and this is the most important thing, get laid elsewhere. It don't matter if she's fat and ugly, you will feel better. Strange but true... Yeah it is not nice especially to kick a man when he is down like she did... I do think of her and I know it sound silly but when she packed all of my things and I mean EVERYTHING, all my clean clothes smells of her... so I will have to wash them again... Good point about the getting laid thing... Hi you Really sorry for you!! 2009 will be a better year!!!! Thanks Sabrina! So do I... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSoop Posted December 2, 2008 Author Share Posted December 2, 2008 Have you phoned up a private investigator to find out what information would be required to locate her? you may be surprised and find that they can find her with what you already know? Did you look further or seek advice possibly from the contacts on this page regarding the various court forms possibly C3, i 'think' this is the form you will need if you cannot locate her.......but i'm sure the "Families Need Fathers: Helpline 08707 607496" will be able to advise more concisely. Don't worry about legal fees yet just spend a bit of time looking into your options and then if necessary a few quid to find her, then send her a letter as advised and go from there. That has crossed my mind going to a PI but honestly, I don't have any dosh so in that respect, I am very limited to what I can do... Thankyou though, I will give that number a ring...if anyone know's a way of getting in contact or finding a person, let us know please... Shane did you keep the reciepts for her christmas presents That's where no having a job and money has it's advantages... Nah, recycle them on the new bird I would rather spend on my Supe Gav, doesn't give me grief... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieSteve Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Gutted to hear that mate. I've just gone through this and believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel. We get along like a house on fire now and I love her more than I did all the time I was with her lol Take your time, take a step back, think about both yours and her faults and work at it. Believe me if you are as gutted as you say you are it's absolutely 110% worth it... trust me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden1989 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 hmmm, no offence to anyone in that area, but i dont visit that particular housing estate often ..... lawson rings a bell, il ask around if u get any hassle of physco damian let me know and il have a word, and let me know if u change your mind about that job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 WOW!!! And this has what to do with supras? Sorry to hear your Mrs has fooked off but hey life sucks then you die!!! I do feel your pain but to post it on a forum? Get back out there and live it up.FFS you have had alot of sh*t in the past and it seems she does not help matters. Go and find yourself first then go find someone who will take you for who YOU are and not try to change things as soon as you've got jiggy..lol This is about YOU no body will hold your hand through life and you should never expect it. Go and get what YOU want out of life and fook anyone who tries to stop you. Been there done that!! Enjoy the freedom Dave (rant mode off) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSoop Posted December 2, 2008 Author Share Posted December 2, 2008 dont any of your mates know her or do u know any of her mates maybe if u asked around you will find her i found my daughters dad livingin cornwall when i was living in bham took a while to find him but when i did this i when his gf wouldnt let him see my daughter. Its different for you cause if she got a bf he cant stop u seeing your son. Im sure you will find her try on that facebook type her name in you might find her there cause i found alot of old friends there Oh yes Nat I do know her ''friends'' but they don't talk to me, all I get is aggression against me and they tell me that ''im not going to tell you where she lives, do I look f****** stupid?!'' I have been on Facebook, myspace like you have suggested and I suprisingly found her profile on Facebook and her profile it set t private...no picture, contact details just pics of her friends on there... So I think my only option is face to face contact... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooter Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 That has crossed my mind going to a PI but honestly, I don't have any dosh so in that respect, I am very limited to what I can do... Thankyou though, I will give that number a ring...if anyone know's a way of getting in contact or finding a person, let us know please... How do you know what it'll cost if you don't ring one!? Phone them ask what they need to trace someone, if they say "x" and "y" and you know this then ask how much, then if not too much save this, or sell part of your car or borrow it from the parents etc? If its very very expensive or they can't do it with the information provided then put it on the back burner and have a rethink, but to not enquire is lame IMO...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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