Jake Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 (From : http://notalwaysright.com ) Me: “Hi, how can I help you?” Customer: “I need to return this camera.” Me: “Sure, was it not working?” Customer: “I just don’t want it, okay?” Me: “Okay. Have you opened the box yet?” Customer: “Why does that matter?” Me: “Well, as the sticker on the box says, if the box is opened and you return it, I have to charge you a restocking fee.” Customer: “Oh. No… no, it hasn’t been opened.” (I look and the box has been clearly opened, with a torn seal.) Me: “Uh… are you sure it hasn’t been opened?” Customer: ”LOOK! ARE YOU CALLING ME A F***ING LIAR? Where is your manager? I spend hundreds of thousands of dollars here and this is how I’m treated?!” Me: “Ma’am, if you just–” Customer: “THESE PEOPLE CALL CUSTOMERS LIARS! DON’T SHOP HERE!” Me: “Ma’am, I believe you! I will return it!” Customer: “That’s right you will!” Me: “Can I see your receipt?” Customer: “It’s in the box.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edge Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 That is an old one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Yeah, but no, but yeah, but etc...! Some people ay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erol_h Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 i get a few smart ass,s at work to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSoop Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Haha... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CoolsBlue Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 and to think..there are lots of people just like that out there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSoop Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 and to think..there are lots of people just like that out there Yes, there are! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I like that site now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 This is a corker: Me: “Thank you for calling ***, this is Bill in the breast aesthetics department. How may I help you?” Customer: “My left boob popped.” Me: “Okay, so the implant failed?” Customer: “Yes.” Me: “Are your implants silicone gel or saline?” Customer: “The water kind.” Me: “So, we’ve had a saline deflation. I need to ask you some questions in regards to how it may have deflated.” Customer: “Why, don’t you believe me?” Me: “Of course I believe you, but as part of making our implants even better and evaluating where under the device’s warranty this falls, I need to know what may have led up to the implant’s leak.” Customer: “Oh, so you think this is my fault?! You make a crappy implant and you have the nerve to blame me?” Me: “Wait, wait. First, I didn’t make your implant, my company did. I’m here to help you get this fixed in the fastest way possible and that starts with finding out how the implant deflated.” Customer: “So you want to know what I did to screw them up, is that right? I spend a fortune on these things to be walking around with a flat tire of a tit and you think it’s my fault?” Me: “No, ma’am. I simply need to know how to cover this under your warranty, to see how much money we are going to give you to fix the problem. We give you a check for money to fix the problem if you’ll just answer my questions. What do you remember doing when you first noticed the deflation in your breast?” Customer: “Me and my boyfriend were playing sex hide-and-seek in the house and he thought it would be more fun if my boobs glowed. So, he used a needle tube to insert little red lights into them… what do you call those little glowing lights? It’s like three letters?” Me: “… A diode?” Customer: “Yes. He’s a trained professional… he uses them on animals at his job all the time.” Me: “So, your boyfriend punched a hole in your chest and tried inserting a diode inside the implant?” Customer: “Well, not in my chest. Just on the top side of my boob so it wouldn’t hurt. He numbed it first.” Me: “… And this is the implant’s fault, how?” Customer: “It started leaking and getting flat.” Me: *laughing* “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I’m recording this and no one is going to believe me!” Customer: *click* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 WTF? Glowing boobs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Branners Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 more to the point 'sex hide-and-seek'. How does that work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 more to the point 'sex hide-and-seek'. How does that work? I guess when you get "found" you get "done". Must be a youth thing JB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Where they red and green for port and starboard... in the dark you really would want to know which side is up (on second thoughts would it matter?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kopite Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Hehe i like that one Closest real life one i've had was when i was working at Specsavers. Middle aged bloke walks in to Specsavers & Hearcare Middlesbrough, i'm at the desk because there's no eye tests in at the minute. He walks up to me at the desk and in blunty says "Got an appointment". Me - "Ok Sir, is it for an eye test?" Him - "What else is it going to be for, my bloody ears?" Me - "Well, yeah!" *Points at sign behind me saying "Hearing Tests" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Hehe i like that one Closest real life one i've had was when i was working at Specsavers. Middle aged bloke walks in to Specsavers & Hearcare Middlesbrough, i'm at the desk because there's no eye tests in at the minute. He walks up to me at the desk and in blunty says "Got an appointment". Me - "Ok Sir, is it for an eye test?" Him - "What else is it going to be for, my bloody ears?" Me - "Well, yeah!" *Points at sign behind me saying "Hearing Tests" Thats bloody brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kopite Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Thats bloody brilliant He stayed quite quiet during his eye test after, think it's because he knew i was itching to rub it in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Pardon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Pardon? Saying that might have got you hit though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 Ah, the joy of dealing with the public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 Ah, the joy of dealing with the public. They are just so stupid, aren't they?! I've been engrossed in that website for several days now. Some of them are so hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 For example: Customer: “Do you have this shoe in a size 6? My son needs a size six.” Me: “Ahh… no, I’m sorry. It seems we’re all out of that size.” Customer: “But, there’s a size six right there.” (She points to a shoe that is a completely different style.) Me: “Yes, but that’s a different style shoe. We stock them alphabetically on the riser, but on the shelves we show them by price.” Customer: “Just give me that six, then!” Me: “Sure thing.” *hands her the box* Customer: “This isn’t the shoe I wanted.” Me: “I know. Even though I just told you that we are out of size six in the style you wanted, you still asked to see this one.” Customer: “I don’t want this one. Put it back.” Me: “Okay…” Customer: “What about this style shoe?” Me: “Unfortunately, there aren’t any size sixes left in that style either.” Customer: “But there’s a six RIGHT THERE.” (Note that she is pointing to the box I JUST put back.) Me: “That is a different shoe style, and you already looked at that EXACT box.” Customer: “JUST GET ME THAT SIX!” Me: “Okay.” *hands her the box* Customer: “This isn’t the style that I wanted!” Me: “…” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 I've been engrossed in that website for several days now. Some of them are so hilarious! Its brilliant isn't it This is a corker: (At the clothing store where I work, I’ve spent hours folding and sizing jeans into a wall display. A customer comes up starts to look for her size.) Me: “Hi there! How are you today? My name is ***. Can I help you find the size or style of jeans you are looking for today?” Customer: “No, I’m just looking… thanks.” Me: “Alright. Well, you just let me know if you need any help.” (As I go back to folding jeans, she pulls out a pile I’ve already fixed, proceeds to destroy it and shoves it back in the wall.) Me: “Are you sure I can’t help you find what you are looking for?” Customer: “Nah, I’m alright.” (She destroys pile number #2.) Me: *wincing* “I might be able to help you find the size you are looking for a little faster…” Customer: “It’s okay, I’m fine.” (She destroys pile number #3.) Me: “Ma’am, please let me help you since I know where everything is.” Customer: “I said I was okay! Don’t you people have better things to do than bug your shoppers?! I don’t need your help!” Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m going to help you anyway. I’ve spent nearly six hours refolding and fixing this wall because customers like you come in and ruin it with no regard to the people who have to clean up your mess. Since we size things with the smallest size at the top and the largest size at the bottom, I suggest that you look somewhere near the bottom pile for your jeans!” Customer: *jaw drops* “ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!” Me: “No, I’m implying it.” Customer: “WELL I NEVER!” *storms out* (I got written up, but it was totally worth it!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I'm still engrossed in this! Best light reading for ages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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