mr lover Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 A man takes the day off from work and decides to go golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it, and is about to shoot, when he hears, "Ribbit, 9 iron." The man looks around but doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit, 9 iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove that the frog is wrong. He puts his first club back into his bag and grabs his 9 iron. Boom!!! He drives the ball within ten inches of the cup! The man is shocked and says to the frog, "Wow, that's amazing! You must be a lucky frog, hunh?" The frog replied, "Lucky frog. Ribbit." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think, frog?" he asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." The man takes out the 3 wood. Boom!! A hole in one! The man is totally befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best day in his whole life. He asks the frog, "Where to next?" and the frog replied, "Las Vegas. Ribbit." They go to Las Vegas and the man says, "Okay, frog. Now what?" The frog responded, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet, frog?" The frog says, "Ribbit. $3,000. Black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures, what the heck? Boom!!! A mountain of cash comes sliding back to him across the table! He takes his winnings and checks into the finest suite in the casino's hotel. The man sets the frog down on a table and says, "Frog, I don't know how I can ever repay you. You won me the best golf game of my life, and now all of this money. I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit. Kiss me." The man figures, why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves at least a kiss. With the kiss, the frog turned into a gorgeous fifteen year old girl. "And that, Your Honor, is how the girl ended up in my room..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkey3 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 A man takes the day off from work and decides to go golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it, and is about to shoot, when he hears, "Ribbit, 9 iron." The man looks around but doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit, 9 iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove that the frog is wrong. He puts his first club back into his bag and grabs his 9 iron. Boom!!! He drives the ball within ten inches of the cup! The man is shocked and says to the frog, "Wow, that's amazing! You must be a lucky frog, hunh?" The frog replied, "Lucky frog. Ribbit." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think, frog?" he asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." The man takes out the 3 wood. Boom!! A hole in one! The man is totally befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best day in his whole life. He asks the frog, "Where to next?" and the frog replied, "Las Vegas. Ribbit." They go to Las Vegas and the man says, "Okay, frog. Now what?" The frog responded, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet, frog?" The frog says, "Ribbit. $3,000. Black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures, what the heck? Boom!!! A mountain of cash comes sliding back to him across the table! He takes his winnings and checks into the finest suite in the casino's hotel. The man sets the frog down on a table and says, "Frog, I don't know how I can ever repay you. You won me the best golf game of my life, and now all of this money. I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit. Kiss me." The man figures, why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves at least a kiss. With the kiss, the frog turned into a gorgeous fifteen year old girl. "And that, Your Honor, is how the girl ended up in my room..." I think we have a winner!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jellybean Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor girl. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor girl is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Sheila ****************************** Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps. Regards, Walter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supradibbs Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster one that could service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have just therooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!" So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Randy a little pep talk."Randy", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff". And without a word he strutted into the hen house. Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But Randy didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Randy, you'll kill yourself". But Randy continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner. Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Randy. The farmer walked up to Randy saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you my little buddy". "Shhhhh," Randy whispered, "The buzzard's getting closer." The best i think Pm me your address buddy free oil filter on its way too you:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr lover Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 The best i think Pm me your address buddy free oil filter on its way too you:) Cheers Wayne Pm'd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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