jamesmark Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy ______________________________ OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime _____________________________ SHOPPING MATH A man will pay £20 for a £10 item he needs. A woman will pay £10 for a £20 item that she doesn't need. _____________________________ GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. _____________________________ HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________ LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ______________________________ PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. _____________________________ DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. _____________________________ HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 love it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris2o2 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I like the old aunts at weddings bit ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr lover Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I plan to be a 'successful woman' then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Lynz_ Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I plan to be a 'successful woman' then Sounds like a great idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerry Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Think I may have been married too long - I'm detecting a hint of truth in some of em... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRalphMan Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Love the last one, the rest are just my life... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jspec Germany Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Me too I guess. Clearly it's true. "I saw it on the internet" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyT Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Lovely. Argument ensuing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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