Post Fart Comments!!

[juanchan]

Probably best not wear a thong tomorrow though, G-String might actually start playing notes.

 

 

BTW. I'm gonna use the little more choke one from now on

 

 

I also like H's "confident call from the Ozzies"

[RobDogg]

I use a couple:

 

"Ow Ow it burns!!!"

" That came from the depths of hell!"

 

If someone is near me and they heard it I ask them if they have farted and when they reply no I say "oh it must be me then!"

[adnanshah247]

This is ages old, but it did make me laugh loads

 

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2003/m_matrix_farts-p1.php

 

now that was funny! lol

[Ewen]

My mother in law 'trumps' as she calls it. She excelled herself in Gary Rhodes' restaurant in Oxford Street last summer, her ample posterior expelling what I can only describe as 'brown noise' between the plaice and the cheesecake. As a suddenly deathly silent audience turned to glare at us, her apologetic 'oops better out than in', (gleefully exclaimed in a slurred Nottingham accent), set up otherworldly harmonics as it blended with the lingering echo of her majestic anal acoustics.

[bluecoup]

at work we get " you ort to wipe your arse and call that a s**t "

and the one that always has me in fits is mate comes back from loo after i hear the air freshner be sprayed just walks back into the office and just gives it a little gag noise

[loks]

From my yuff...

 

"A fart is a wonderful thing you know,

it comes from the valley of bum.

It quietly descends down your trouser leg

and ends in a musical hummm..."

 

[steb9780]

A lad at work let one go the other week.

 

One of the other lads just turned around and said "Bloody hell Bob, it was like a drum roll and then a cannon shot". Funny thing is it was.

[benkei]

That Matrix thing was hillarious! I was in tears!

 

My gf always says to me, "Go and have a shit!" The first time she said it i was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe!

 

I also look at the cat in disgust and blame her! Sometimes when she's not even there!

[Kranz]

That's "ease springs"

 

Lol, that's my current favourite. You don't want an ND down there Not touching the Queen's cloth anyway!

 

My other favourites:

 

Point at the floor behind the offender & loudly say "I think you just dropped something!"

 

And for some reason "dropped your hat" is popular at work

[Scott]

Dropped your guts used to be a popular one.

[spidermonkey]

when my work chum farts it sounds like Dizzy Gillespie hitting the high notes

[Havard]

Wow, this thread is still going......

 

I have remembered a couple more "Good health", "Well struck, sir!!" and "Someones tinkered with Herbie!"

 

Another favourite for a squeaky one is "What's that Sweep?":D

 

H.

[spidermonkey]

Wow, this thread is still going......

 

I have remembered a couple more "Good health", "Well struck, sir!!" and "Someones tinkered with Herbie!"

 

Another favourite for a squeaky one is "What's that Sweep?":D

 

H.

 

keep 'em coming

[dangerous brain]

Well he literally let it go seconds after walking into my office. I would have had the decency to walk out and do that in my own office. Must be a man thing as said previously. No manners.

 

 

 

That is totally Disgusting Dude and I would be very unimpressed if you did that to me.

 

 

Man I take it one step further. I chuff in a zipseal bag and stick that over peoples noses To put it lightly my farts make people retch when released into the general air never mind in full on concentrated form I've emptied entire aircraft in seconds especially if I've been eating onions Ah well each to their own with the amusing aspect

[keancy]

Man I take it one step further. I chuff in a zipseal bag and stick that over peoples noses To put it lightly my farts make people retch when released into the general air never mind in full on concentrated form I've emptied entire aircraft in seconds especially if I've been eating onions Ah well each to their own with the amusing aspect

 

I might not have a sense of Humor but I fail to see how forcing someone else to smell your Farts is amusing really!

 

Maybe when we were like 10 years old but.......

[Scott]

I might not have a sense of Humor but I fail to see how forcing someone else to smell your Farts is amusing really!

 

Maybe when we were like 10 years old but.......

 

Are you kidding? I roll the windows up in the car and put them on lock!

[Havard]

Maybe when we were like 10 years old but.......

 

My sense of humour has not matured much since then.

[Oddball]

"Speak, o' toothless one" usually makes me laugh.

[keancy]

Are you kidding? I roll the windows up in the car and put them on lock!

 

My sense of humour has not matured much since then.

 

 

I did kind of think after I posted hmmmm yeah they are Blokes, they never mature no matter how old they are

[Smellywelshman]

Point at the floor behind the offender & loudly say "I think you just dropped something!"

QUOTE]

 

Typical bloody copper talk!!!!

[Havard]

I did kind of think after I posted hmmmm yeah they are Blokes, they never mature no matter how old they are

 

...............and long may it continue...

[dangerous brain]

I might not have a sense of Humor but I fail to see how forcing someone else to smell your Farts is amusing really!

 

Maybe when we were like 10 years old but.......

 

Its amusing when they almost throw up and chase me down the hangar to try and beat the sh*t out of me

 

Almost as funny as having the water barrel from the drinks dispenser dropped next to you from the first floor, filling a locker full of french chalk so when you open the door you get covered in the stuff, sealing up locker doors with high strength aircraft structural adhesive, putting 3 week old smelly mackerel in people's jacket pockets, stapling up the legs on peoples jumpers, trousers, overalls etc, sticking a blob of exceedingly water retardant grease on someones head that won't wash out for days, taping people to stretchers and leaving them in the dining hall all day, taping people to chairs and letting the firetender let rip on them for 10 minutes, putting someone in a cargo net and hauling them up to the hangar roof and leaving the control box out of reach, the list goes on and on but I think you get the picture

[SupraHuman]

Its amusing when they almost throw up and chase me down the hangar to try and beat the sh*t out of me

 

Almost as funny as having the water barrel from the drinks dispenser dropped next to you from the first floor, filling a locker full of french chalk so when you open the door you get covered in the stuff, sealing up locker doors with high strength aircraft structural adhesive, putting 3 week old smelly mackerel in people's jacket pockets, stapling up the legs on peoples jumpers, trousers, overalls etc, sticking a blob of exceedingly water retardant grease on someones head that won't wash out for days, taping people to stretchers and leaving them in the dining hall all day, taping people to chairs and letting the firetender let rip on them for 10 minutes, putting someone in a cargo net and hauling them up to the hangar roof and leaving the control box out of reach, the list goes on and on but I think you get the picture

 

Class.

I uesed to work with a clown that always left 10 mins early to catch the buss.And he was always wearing sandals.It p****d me off after a few months so one day i got some 4" nails and a hammer and nailed his bloody clown shoes to the floor.He was still there with a crowbar prying his shoes loose when I left.

Not a proud moment but it sure felt good.

[dangerous brain]

Ah yes some clever sod glued mine sole first onto the hangar door

[Supra Size Me]

Almost forgot the last ditch no holds barred phrase to stop pple looking at you accusingly and to run in terror at your trouser cough : " That's been up my @rse that has ! "