Havard Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 This is thread for the blokes as obviously women don't fart (much)...... I have loads of comments for that uncomfotable moment directly after you float an air biscuit. My favourites include: "More Tea Vicar", "Don't tear it, I'll take the full sheet" and "Right then, we know the horn works - lets now try the lights"!! Discuss!! H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 "Speak up caller you're through", "a bit more choke and she would have started" and "keep shouting sir we'll find you" have always made me chuckle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 i've never heard these fart quotes - excellent thread, shear excellence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr lover Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 don't worry they will think its me, thats used mainly when with the wife in Asda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter richards Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 lol , walking behind an old couple in town monday , the guy lets rip , so i quickly sidestepped the blast and as i passed him he was laughing and said to his wife oops fuck that slipped out , her reply was you dirty bastard . lol old people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted June 26, 2008 Author Share Posted June 26, 2008 "Speak up caller you're through", "a bit more choke and she would have started" and "keep shouting sir we'll find you" have always made me chuckle The choke one is great!! don't worry they will think its me, thats used mainly when with the wife in Asda Quality!! Another one I use is "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.!!" Also, "Taxi for Brown..??" H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 lol , walking behind an old couple in town monday , the guy lets rip , so i quickly sidestepped the blast and as i passed him he was laughing and said to his wife oops $#@! that slipped out , her reply was you dirty bastard . lol old people At least you could walk away. My workmate came into my Office a couple of days ago stood next to me talking and dropped one. Dirty bast**** stank my whole Office out and then thought it was highly amusing, I didn't think so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted June 26, 2008 Author Share Posted June 26, 2008 At least you could walk away. My workmate came into my Office a couple of days ago stood next to me talking and dropped one. Dirty bast**** stank my whole Office out and then thought it was highly amusing, I didn't think so Sometimes you just can't help it though. I was on my drive polishing the wheels on the Supe and as I bent down I let an involuntary one go. I was so relieved to see that my neighbour who had just been cleaning his car had gone into the house for a moment!! If he'd have heard I would probably have said "Stitch a button on that..!!"...... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 I love catching farts in my hands and realising them into peoples faces. Last week I managed to launch one down a 36" cardboard tube. I then used the tube like a giant blowpipe skillfully aiming it into a colleagues face with surprising accuracy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted June 26, 2008 Author Share Posted June 26, 2008 I love catching farts in my hands and realising them into peoples faces. Last week I managed to launch one down a 36" cardboard tube. I then used the tube like a giant blowpipe skillfully aiming it into a colleagues face with surprising accuracy That is known in the trade as a "Cup cake" or a "Muffin"..!! That had me in stitches Ed. I have remembered another one that tickles me. When someone lets rip you say "A confident appeal by the Australians...!!" which I interpret as a big shout from down-under..... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 "Jesus Christ, that f#cking stinks" Is my usual one as Sarahs face turns green. "I think I need to go and check myself" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pabs Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 i Love Catching Farts In My Hands And Realising Them Into Peoples Faces. Last Week I Managed To Launch One Down A 36" Cardboard Tube. I Then Used The Tube Like A Giant Blowpipe Skillfully Aiming It Into A Colleagues Face With Surprising Accuracy :d:d:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Its an old one, but it always makes me laugh when I hear,.. "Just dropping the kids off at the pool" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supra Size Me Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 My personal fave is " Trod on a frog ?" but other good ones are " are you blowing kisses at me ?" and if you're confessing it yourself theres the twist and stick game fortunately I haven't had to say stick for a good many years now but you never know what's round the corner so to speak loved the keep shouting sir one had me :rlol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wez Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 "get out and walk" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted June 26, 2008 Author Share Posted June 26, 2008 "I think I need to go and check myself" I think it might be my age but there have been a few occasions lately where I have hade to check my trolleys for "shopping"..... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golddigga Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 'Can you smell the turtles breath' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wez Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 "keep shouting sir we'll find you" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 I think it might be my age but there have been a few occasions lately where I have hade to check my trolleys for "shopping"..... H. :rlol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 "Watch out, silent but violent " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted June 26, 2008 Author Share Posted June 26, 2008 'Can you smell the turtles breath' I heard one "Catch that and paint it blue..!!" Whatever that means?. Also, "You'll have to buy that now you've ripped it..!!" H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animal Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 I love catching farts in my hands and realising them into peoples faces. Last week I managed to launch one down a 36" cardboard tube. I then used the tube like a giant blowpipe skillfully aiming it into a colleagues face with surprising accuracy LOL, how old are you? My usual one is "Must fix that creaky floorboard" and if someone complains then "Wherever you be, let the wind roam free, In church or chapel, let it rattle" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golddigga Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 'That sounded wet' 'Did you follow through?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 That is known in the trade as a "Cup cake" or a "Muffin"..!! That had me in stitches Ed. Um... which trade? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted June 26, 2008 Author Share Posted June 26, 2008 Um... which trade? Funny you should ask that as I work in the "pump" industry..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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