bigcol Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Why is it people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? What is the speed of darkness? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Do you cry under water? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.' Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . . . Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 lmao! put a big smile on my face! Nice one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edge Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs H Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 You think too much lol Vicki x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 I have one... Why do people post variations of this up all the time? http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=125162 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=146945 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D8MOA Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 lol @ Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonlady Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Very funny and true:d If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? -17.7778 degrees celsius:p Sorry I was bored and had to work it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DevilsAdvocate Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Why are some people thought of as smart@rses when there's nothing smart about being an @rse. just a thought Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carl0s Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 i Have One... Why Do People Post Variations Of This Up All The Time? http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=125162 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=146945 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamc Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 brilliant... especially the "Stop singing bit" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuohy Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 -17.7778 degrees celsius:p How does that work then? Is is some kind of logarithmic thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSoop Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Why is it people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? What is the speed of darkness? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Do you cry under water? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.' Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . . . Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? You have too much time on your hands lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonlady Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 How does that work then? Is is some kind of logarithmic thing? Ambient temperatures are given in Celsius, therefore, convert to fahrenheit, make it twice as cold, then convert back! I am so sad:blink: Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Ambient temperatures are given in Celsius, therefore, convert to fahrenheit, make it twice as cold, then convert back! I am so sad:blink: Ian Smart arse time What about kelvins?? Although interesting... If it is twice as cold, it is exactly the same measurement either way -136.575 Celsius or 136.575 kelvins (I think my maths is right ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 but wouldn't 0c be 0f too? so whats half of 0?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigcol Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 C is half of O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 C is half of O and O is half of 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigcol Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 and O is half of 8 correct, im glad someone is in the same wavelength as me here:d Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thank you, those are funny and have brightened up my Dull day in the Office Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benkei Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I'm confused! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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