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Possible repost but very funny


CJ

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Allegedly, what people actually said in court word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

 

Some of these are excellent, don't miss the last one.

 

Q What is your date of birth?

A July 15th

Q What year?

A Every year.

 

Q What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 

Q This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A Yes.

Q And in what way does it affect memory?

A I forget.

Q You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've forgotten?

 

Q What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A He said "Where am I Cathy?"

Q And why did that upset you?

A My name is Susan.

 

Q Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

 

Q The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?

 

Q Were you present when your picture was taken?

 

Q So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A Yes.

QAnd what were you doing at that time?

 

Q She had three children, right?

A Yes

Q How many were boys?

A None

Q Were there any girls?

 

Q How was your first marraige terminated?

A By death.

Q And by whose death was it terminated?

 

Q Can you describe the individual?

A He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q Was this a male or a female?

 

Q Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

 

Q All your resposes must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A Oral.

 

Q Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A The autopsy started around 8.30pm.

Q And Mr Dennington was dead at that time?

A No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

 

Q Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A No.

Q Did you check for blood pressure?

A No

Q Did you check for breathing?

A No.

Q So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A No.

Q How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

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A true one from my Co defendant at my trial at crown court for Speeding (Dangerous driving charge due tio the speed)

 

Prosecutor: And Mr Collum you must have cut a fine dash that night in your brightly coloured leathers , a veritable Knight of the road , very distinctive a man of your stature!

Defendant: Are you saying im overweight ???

P: Yes slightly

D: Well thank you very much pal !!!!

 

The whole court inc the judge were racked with laughter because my mate is such a drool character and said it with no emotion at all !!! :D

Didnt do much good though we still got a guilty !!! :banghead:

 

Dude :devil:

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