Pete Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Just found out that my next door neighbour died this morning. She was one of the nicest people you'd ever meet. The estate was new 10 years ago and all the people that moved here have always been quite close with BBQs, street parties, New Years Eve parties etc. We went to college with one of her daughters Jacquelyn. 8 years ago Isobell was diagnosed with breast cancer and survived it. She spent the following years of her life raising money for cancer patients and was instrumental in raising thousands for a new hospice which opened at the Princess Royal Hospital this year behind us. She also found religion and went every Sunday to the local church, helping out there too. She celebrated her 60th birthday last year. Barely a month ago, another neighbour Frank came across to tell me she'd gone to the docs with stomach pains and they diagnosed a hernia. Upon further investigation it turned out to be ovarian cancer - it had returned and with a vengeance. We all hoped they could operate and she'd fight it again. Last week whilst we were away she was taken into the hospice on Wednesday. She asked for Frank and Ruth to see her and they went. Ruth said she outstretched her hands to her to hold hers and said "I didn't think it would end like this". She knew this was the end. I'm angry with myself as I hadn't seen her in the last month - she was either in hospital or had relatives around. Besides, what would I say? I'm sorry? Get well soon? I'd decided on the way back from Rhodes I would go to see her...I even thought of giving the keys and she could take the daughters out there just for the price of a flight....only I was too late. Frank and Ruth said it was for the best I didn't see her so I could remember her as she was. Every time someone I know dies I'm reminded to think "what's it all about?". That we should all live our lives with more fulfilment, spending time with our families and friends. Forget wealth, materialism, endless hours working, mindless entertainment like TV - instead spending quality time with the people you love. Then why do we forget this so soon and revert back to the way we are? So sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieP Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Sorry to hear about your friend. Life is short, live it to the full and do what ever makes you happy:) One thing i will never do is live my life by thinking "what if" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 thats really sad sorry to hear that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 Life is short, live it to the full and do what ever makes you happy:) One thing i will never do is live my life by thinking "what if" Good for you mate. Never a truer word said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul2supra Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Sorry to read this. As Jamiep says, you just have to do what makes you happy day by day, and hopefully not end up regretting anything you choose to do or not do. Have to admit I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to keeping in touch. Since my Dad moved down to Devon a few years ago, I only tend to see him a couple of times a year - just hope I don't regret not making the trip more often if/when anything happens to him. Talking of which, time to pick up the phone - off down there in a couple of weeks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Very similar to old Charlie over the road from us. I wish I'd spent more time with him, he was interesting and humorous, but pressure of modern life makes it hard to do all the things one should, or may like to. It's no excuse, I find time to spend in the pub, but that's life, we make our beds and lie in them. Sorry to hear of her death, she obviously gave selflessly for others, hopefully she will remain in peoples thoughts in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanchan Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Have to admit I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to keeping in touch. Since my Dad moved down to Devon a few years ago, I only tend to see him a couple of times a year - just hope I don't regret not making the trip more often if/when anything happens to him. The last 6 months I've realised how little I was seeing my parents actually. I think I saw them 3 times in 2007 and one of them was Christmas! I've already changed that this year and seen them 4 times already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 Very similar to old Charlie over the road from us. I wish I'd spent more time with him, he was interesting and humorous, You got a nice pair of shoes to remember him by though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Its a balance. The time you need for your own life fulfillment against the time you think your family and friends need your presence and I don't know anyone who's got it dead right. Many a time I've been shamed into having more contact with family and friends, the same family and friends who are just as bad at reciprocating. My son has a go at me for not ringing him once a week, yet when he comes down for the weekend he spends all the time with his girlfriend:) My daughter has her own life now, she's not even keen to come on holiday with us any more...she knows we are here, just doesnt feel the need to be with us. I was the same with my parents, I knew they were there, weeks turned to months between contact, and then all of a sudden they were no longer there. At least you care enough to post this up Pete, which in the circumstances is probably the best answer of all to your question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyT Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 The last 6 months I've realised how little I was seeing my parents actually. I think I saw them 3 times in 2007 and one of them was Christmas! I've already changed that this year and seen them 4 times already. Good man. Time goes by so fast that before you realize something bad has happened and it's all too late. Good tip. Never go to bed on an argument. Family, loved ones, friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexM Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Sorry to hear about your friend. Life is short, live it to the full and do what ever makes you happy:) One thing i will never do is live my life by thinking "what if" Good words Jamie. I've done a lot of the 'what if' thoughts up until now, only just starting to come out of my shell a bit - wasted a fair bit of time already (I'm still young though, thankfully). I've lost a few close members of family not so long ago, and on hindsight would have loved to have spent more time with them before they left. However I've tried to keep in touch with what I have left and it is very difficult, they all have their own seperate lives and we all get distracted. I'm going to pop a few of them an email now though while it's fresh in my mind and see if we can catch up soon . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merckx Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Forget wealth, materialism, endless hours working, mindless entertainment like TV - instead spending quality time with the people you love. Then why do we forget this so soon and revert back to the way we are? So sad. Very true. It's so easy to take your family and friends for granted, especially those who are the closest to you. A close work colleague lost his wife to ovarian cancer last year, she was only 52. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 Good tip. Never go to bed on an argument. Family, loved ones, friends. Vicki says that. There's been a few times I can barely keep my eyes open so end up conceding to agree just so I can get some kip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Its a balance. The time you need for your own life fulfillment against the time you think your family and friends need your presence and I don't know anyone who's got it dead right. Many a time I've been shamed into having more contact with family and friends, the same family and friends who are just as bad at reciprocating. My son has a go at me for not ringing him once a week, yet when he comes down for the weekend he spends all the time with his girlfriend:) My daughter has her own life now, she's not even keen to come on holiday with us any more...she knows we are here, just doesnt feel the need to be with us. I was the same with my parents, I knew they were there, weeks turned to months between contact, and then all of a sudden they were no longer there. At least you care enough to post this up Pete, which in the circumstances is probably the best answer of all to your question. Nice post, and so very true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyT Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Vicki says that. There's been a few times I can barely keep my eyes open so end up conceding to agree just so I can get some kip! Worth it Pete. You actually wake up feeling better in yourself. Sounds weird but if Scooby and I have a go and I "sleep on it" I actually wake feeling crappy, as if I've had about a minutes kip. That puts me back in a bad mood for the day. Sorry about your friend. Never good but it seems the last 8 years were some of the best. Perhaps take some comfort from what was achieved there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanchan Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Good man. Time goes by so fast that before you realize something bad has happened and it's all too late. Good tip. Never go to bed on an argument. Family, loved ones, friends. Precisely. You never know what may happen. And good advice Andy - I hate leaving an argument unresolved. Sorry to hear about your friend. Life is short, live it to the full and do what ever makes you happy:) One thing i will never do is live my life by thinking "what if" Good words Jamie. I've done a lot of the 'what if' thoughts up until now, only just starting to come out of my shell a bit - wasted a fair bit of time already (I'm still young though, thankfully). I'm always thinking "what if?" but a few people have recently started prodding me in the right direction to stop that. And it's nice to have people looking out for you in that respect too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aero-M Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Sorry to hear about your friend. Life is short, live it to the full and do what ever makes you happy:) One thing i will never do is live my life by thinking "what if" so true its hard to do all the things you want but the important things in life must get that extra effort. my wife's mum died from cancer at 55, not even a month after we got married, never saw our daughter, but at least she knew my wife was pregnant. there were so many things she wanted to do and never managed, one of the last things she said was if you want something then do it. the same with one of my best friends, he died just 18 years old never had the chance to live his life. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nic Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 My Mum survived ovarian cancer around 16 years ago, fortunately it was diagnosed early, normally by the time it is found it is too late. She went for annual checks and had been clear every year until last year, when the doctors found it had returned. She's now on her second course of chemo and has been told basically by the doctors that there is no cure HK seems a very long way from home at times like these, I get very upset when I think too much about it I'll be back in a couple of months time though to spend some time with the folks and my sis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Precisely. You never know what may happen. And good advice Andy - I hate leaving an argument unresolved. So do I, just off to give the bitch a good smacking, back in a mo.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Things like this really make you think Pete… It was mentioned in the members section last month but a close friend passed away on the day she was due to give birth. She was only 31 years old. She was one of the most beautiful people I've ever know, her life was her husband (another old friend) and her primary school teaching. It was heart wrenching seeing all her pupils crying their eyes out at her memorial service last week. Another close friend passed away last week, only 41 years old, died of a heart attack while out jogging. His wife had only just given birth to their 2nd child. He'd just made director of the company I work for (one of the top few IT companies in the world) but still spent all his spare time with his family or fund raising for NSPCC… It's really made me re-think the priorities are in life... it's renewed my motivation to sell up here and move back to the west country with my family and friends. Due to workload I've only had time to visit my parents, sisters, etc once this year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
far Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I was just sitting downstairs 20 minutes ago thinking my dads 73 and I only see him and my mum every 3-4 weeks and it makes me sad when I think of the dreaded. One thing he taught me was to shake hands and greet everyone you know like its the first time you met them and say goodbye to them like its the last time you will ever see them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 HK seems a very long way from home at times like these, I get very upset when I think too much about it I'll be back in a couple of months time though to spend some time with the folks and my sis. Sorry to hear this Nic. It must be hard being so far away at times like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colsoop Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Every time someone I know dies I'm reminded to think "what's it all about?". That we should all live our lives with more fulfilment, spending time with our families and friends. Forget wealth, materialism, endless hours working, mindless entertainment like TV - instead spending quality time with the people you love. Then why do we forget this so soon and revert back to the way we are? So sad. Exactly why i quit my Job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Its a balance. The time you need for your own life fulfillment against the time you think your family and friends need your presence and I don't know anyone who's got it dead right. So true. It's very difficult to see everyone and please everyone all of the time. I suppose as long as the people you care about know that you care about them, that should be the most important thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Exactly why i quit my Job.Ditto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.