marc_p Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 1. A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!" 2. A hunchback is running along a street being chased by a pack of children. He stops, turns around and shouts, "Will you all get lost! I haven't got your bloody ball!" ... 3. What is the definition of ultimate rejection? Your hand falling asleep while masturbating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Anyone got any rope? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I've got your coat ready Marc... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 I've got your coat ready Marc... Cheers, is there a back door aswell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbonut Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 :clap: Parrotts one best thanks for the smiles!!! Lx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Taxi for Marc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 Taxi for Marc Preferebly one with blacked out windows Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Preferebly one with blacked out windows Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitesupraboy2 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Preferebly one with blacked out windows funniest part of the thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 2 goldfish in a tank One turns to the other and says: "How do you drive this thing?". ...Mine was funnier and you know it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 2 goldfish in a tank One turns to the other and says: "How do you drive this thing?". ...Mine was funnier and you know it Don't worry......There's two spare seats in the taxi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Don't worry......There's two spare seats in the taxi. It's cool, I'll leave them for your small headed girl and your sense of humour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 It's cool, I'll leave them for your small headed girl and your sense of humour She's appropriately sized!!!!! and my sense of humour is not big enough to take up your seat aswell so don't worry:d You got your coat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Cheque Please!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 2 goldfish in a tank One turns to the other and says: "How do you drive this thing?". ...Mine was funnier and you know it 2 parrots on a perch. One says to the other: "Can you smell fish?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackie Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Its like being back at the dawn of time, when jokes were still evolving PS, im with Gaz on the small head thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 2 parrots on a perch. One says to the other: "Can you smell fish?" 2 nuns in a bath One says "Where's the soap?" The other one says "Yes it does, doesn't it!!" H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Incidentally.... Repost Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 2 parrots on a perch. One says to the other: "Can you smell fish?" I think you need the taxi more than me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Incidentally.... Repost LOL...!! The Perch joke is also reposted underneath it..... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Its like being back at the dawn of time, when jokes were still evolving PS, im with Gaz on the small head thing Legend. 2 vs 1 here Marc, democracy will prevail!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Anyone got any rope? You could try the hardware store in Bridgend, but i heard they had sold out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSoop Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 1. A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!" 2. A hunchback is running along a street being chased by a pack of children. He stops, turns around and shouts, "Will you all get lost! I haven't got your bloody ball!" ... 3. What is the definition of ultimate rejection? Your hand falling asleep while masturbating. You should of quit while you were ahead... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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