Sheefa Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Hi all, Friend of a friend here is going through a divorce after a year or so of marriage. Simply didn't work out. She's keen on getting it done and dusted as soon as possible and has hired a solicitor to aid. Trouble is, he is stalling quite a bit and the papers were delivered to him today but he is initially refusing to sign.What can be done about this? Surely he has to sign right if she wants to start afresh, is there any way pressure can be put on him through diplomatic means? Thanks Greg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bignum Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Send the boys round, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 he can contest the divorce for up to 5 years i believe, but if he does sign it can be dione and dusted in 3 months Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted March 30, 2008 Author Share Posted March 30, 2008 he can contest the divorce for up to 5 years i believe, but if he does sign it can be dione and dusted in 3 months 5 years???! Really? That's a frikking joke. Who in their right mind devises these rules. Thanks Gaz. Looks like something will have to give sooner rather than later then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 5 years???! Really? That's a frikking joke. Who in their right mind devises these rules. Thanks Gaz. Looks like something will have to give sooner rather than later then. i take it it was not both there descions to split then:( he can make it very awkward for her if he won,t sign, i take it she is going for iritrievable breakdown, i have been split up for over 5 yrs now as she would not sign, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted March 30, 2008 Author Share Posted March 30, 2008 i take it it was not both there descions to split then:( he can make it very awkward for her if he won,t sign, i take it she is going for iritrievable breakdown, i have been split up for over 5 yrs now as she would not sign, Hrad to explain Gaz. He is pissing off to live in London, asked her to come with him and she refused. They've been having problems for a while and both agreed on a divorce. Trouble is he's decided to backtrack a lot but she wants it over and done with. He knows it's coming, but I think he's going to put her through her paces. I would love to give him a good kicking as a lot of other stuff has been done, but obviously that doesn't help a thing. I can't believe that, 5 years mate as a separated couple with no free will to marry someone else?? That's a shocker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Geneb Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 he can contest the divorce for up to 5 years i believe, but if he does sign it can be dione and dusted in 3 months that is correct thats how long it took me to get rid of my first wife, and now i cant afford to get rid of the second fooka. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 that is correct thats how long it took me to get rid of my first wife, and now i cant afford to get rid of the second fooka. ha ha ha i went through the exact same thing, now this one keeps harping on about getting married, i told her i have to be seperated for 15 years for a divorce:innocent: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I can't believe that, 5 years mate as a separated couple with no free will to marry someone else?? That's a shocker. Makes sense really. Saves the impulsive types from keep making the same mistake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Makes sense really. Saves the impulsive types from keep making the same mistake. Exactly. Does my head in when people marry quickly then decide they want a divorce. Very irresponsible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitesupraboy2 Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I can't believe that, 5 years mate as a separated couple with no free will to marry someone else?? That's a shocker. I think that could be a good thing in most cases! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babe Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 From what I remember from mine, two years separation is grounds for divorce if both parties agree, otherwise 5 years separation. Less than 2 years you need 'grounds' like unreasonable behaviour. I'd been separated for over two years when my ex applied for divorce, and I signed straight away and it was all over and done with in a couple of months (was less bother than actually getting married)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 Exactly. Does my head in when people marry quickly then decide they want a divorce. Very irresponsible. They were together for over 10 years Pete before they agreed to tie the knot. Then she started suffering a lot of verbal abuse and a few other incidents occured, plus she's realised she doesn't want to be with him anymore and vice versa. I don't think it's fair to judge her as irresponsible somehow - you neither know the lady nor appreciate her circumstances. Thanks for the replies guys. I haven't heard from her today but will catch up with her later and see what the latest is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 They were together for over 10 years Pete before they agreed to tie the knot. Then she started suffering a lot of verbal abuse and a few other incidents occured, plus she's realised she doesn't want to be with him anymore and vice versa. I don't think it's fair to judge her as irresponsible somehow - you neither know the lady nor appreciate her circumstances. Ok, I didn't appreciate how long they'd been together before hand. Puts a very different slant on it. (Give us all the info next time!) Funny how often that happens though. I've heard of a few people that have been together so long and then split soon after marriage. I wonder what it is psychologically? What's wrong with verbal abuse? I thought women thrived on it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digsy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I'd advise them to get it sorted out as quickly as possible. If they've both decided they want to divorce then this is their best chance of it going through smoothly and not heading into "Macca and Heather Mills" territory. If neither party contests it, its amazing how quickly and cheaply a divorce can go through. No need to elaborate on how badly it can go is one or the other decides to play dirty. If you want a "best case scenario", me and my ex got a "divorce kit" from (and I kid you not) Tesco's for a tenner. It contained all the information and forms you needed for a basic, non contested divorce, together with simple instructions about what to do and when. Luckily, not only was the divorce not contested, but the clean break financial settlement was a simple split down the middle too (each of us left with roughly what we came in with - she got off ever so slightly better than me, but I bought her out of the house and kept the Supra : ) ) To top it all, she had a mate who was a legal secretary, and drafted out the documents, and I had a friend who was a probate solicitor and she polished up the wording for me. I actually wrote the "clean break" document myself, as well as making up my own description of "unreasonable beahviour" on her petition for divorce. It was all quite funny really. So the only fees associated to the actual divorce were those payable to the courts for rubber-stamping the documents. Of course I had to take over paying for the mortgage and re-purchase my own house at the current market value and give her half the equity, but no biggie since she had been paying almost half of the mortgage. I reckon the actual divorce cost me about £200 in total. Maybe not even that much. Hillarious when you consider how much the wedding cost. Tell them to be sensible and get it sorted out while they are still on good terms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 Great reply Digsy - that does sound good and clearly an example of a best case scenario. There are quite a few possessions they are protesting over at present; car, tv, furniture and of course, house. I find it hard to give any advice though because my reasons for helping her are two-fold. I'll just play quiet in the background, monitor things as they progress and help if needed I think. Pete - no worries mate. Didn't mean to sound like having a pop but as you can appreciate she's a bit upset at the moment and wants this done and dusted as smoothly and quickly as poss. I know what you mean about long standing relationships turning to nothing after marriage. Personally, I think there's a long-term security aspect involved even if both partners know that things weren't going well, sometimes it seems like the good thing to do to bring things back on track and make a real effort out of it, perhaps? As for the verbal abuse, I don't think I've ever heard you give Vicky any and I'm sure she wouldn't take it either! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Why do people spend hours reading up about buying a Supra, yet get married in blissful ignorance about the minefield they are walking into, glassy eyed and with the bank vault door propped open? Read the small print, it's truly frightening for husbands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian C Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Why do people spend hours reading up about buying a Supra, yet get married in blissful ignorance about the minefield they are walking into, glassy eyed and with the bank vault door propped open? Read the small print, it's truly frightening for husbands I only started reading this thread because I saw you'd replied and thought "this should be good" Anyway, it'd be the other way round for me - I walked into Supra ownership glassy eyed with the wallet propped open (I didn't even test drive the car haha), yet if a woman shows interest I immediately think it's a trap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Grrrrr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 Grrr - Charlotte? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Grrr - Charlotte? Sorry, I had something in my throat. I hope she gets it sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Wilson Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I excelled last week, the cleaner rang to say she couldn't come as her husband had given her a beating. I just said to her, "Oh, so you told him you broke our second hoover in 2 months last time you were here, did you?" She's not been seen or heard from since, and I'm going round with a dust pan and brush right now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc_p Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I excelled last week, the cleaner rang to say she couldn't come as her husband had given her a beating. I just said to her, "Oh, so you told him you broke our second hoover in 2 months last time you were here, did you?" She's not been seen or heard from since, and I'm going round with a dust pan and brush right now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 I think the words harsh g*t are applicable there Chris! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I excelled last week, the cleaner rang to say she couldn't come as her husband had given her a beating. I just said to her, "Oh, so you told him you broke our second hoover in 2 months last time you were here, did you?" She's not been seen or heard from since, and I'm going round with a dust pan and brush right now... Is that you Roy Chubby Brown....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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