marc_p Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Top ten excuses for falling asleep at work 1 "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 2 "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands." 3 "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!" 4 "Amen" 5 "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to." 6 "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper" 7 "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress." 8 "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!" 9 "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!" 10 "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." Top ten tricks to liven up a meeting 1 Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called. 2 Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table. 3 During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm. 4 Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming. 5 Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it. 6 Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room. 7 Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points. 8 When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, smile contentedly, and say, "Well, here's the way I see it, J.B..." (or any other impressive-sounding initials that are not actually your boss's.) 9 Complain loudly that your neighbour won't stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it. 10 Bring a small mountain of computer printouts to the meeting. If possible, include some old-fashioned fanfold paper for dramatic effect. Every time the speaker makes a point, pretend to check it in one of the printouts. Pretend to find substantiating evidence there. Nod vigorously, and say "uh-huh, uh-huh!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcAB10 Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Top ten excuses for falling asleep at work 2 "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Doom Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I'm going to try some of those out!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoboblio Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 3 During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 haha id love to have the guts to do them in a meeting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt H Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 haha id love to have the guts to do them in a meeting! and not get fired!! love, the pregnant baby one, you could well get away with that!! and most of the meeting ones!! i'f i owned my own company, i'd have one of those happen each time!! then i couldnt get fired but still enjoy such a laugh!! might try the "thank everyone for coming gag" prob get away with that!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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