DaveSupTT Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 While I was driving down the A509 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: 'Runway too short?' To which I replied, 'I'm late for work.' To which he asked, 'What do you do?' 'I'm a rectum stretcher,' I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. 'A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' 'Well,' I said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet.' Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, 'And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?' To which I politely replied, 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...' Speeding ticket: £105.00 Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Last posted just over a year ago. You escape the repost police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Most reposted joke ever? http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?p=1206725&highlight=rectum+stretcher#post1206725 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?p=1093039&highlight=rectum+stretcher#post1093039 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?p=800688&highlight=rectum+stretcher#post800688 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?p=579018&highlight=rectum+stretcher#post579018 http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?p=499042&highlight=rectum+stretcher#post499042 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveSupTT Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 lol finnnnnnnnne spoil my afternoon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRalphMan Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 May I point you here? http://www.mkivsupra.net/vbb/showthread.php?t=145000 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt H Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 that old chestnut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShamelessTT Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 i hadnt heard it (doesnt get out much, it would seem), made me chuckle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick001 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl_S Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 While I was driving down the A509 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked: 'Runway too short?' To which I replied, 'I'm late for work.' To which he asked, 'What do you do?' 'I'm a rectum stretcher,' I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. 'A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' 'Well,' I said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet.' Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, 'And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?' To which I politely replied, 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...' Speeding ticket: £105.00 Court costs: £45 Look on copper's face: Priceless hahaha nice. Thought you actually did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveSupTT Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 hahaha nice. Thought you actually did it. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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