jamesmark Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Apologies in advance. Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most Of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only Broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a Dustbin. Suddenly he heard a strange noise ... BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ Startled, he turned around. To his amazement, through the driving rain, He saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ He froze to the spot. He couldn't believe his eyes. As the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly. It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ The coffin was gaining on him. He started walking faster......... BUMP.... BUMP....... BUMP........BUMP....... BUMP........BUMP........ The coffin was closing with his every step. He started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him ... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... He started to sprint, but so did the coffin ....... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..... Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock. He dived inside, slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin Allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued Its chase .. BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could Take him. He bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door ... BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP... BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP... BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP... The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and Launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the Bathroom door flew off its hinges ... The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young Terrified lad. BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom Cabinet ... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at The coffin ... still it came ........ BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ... still it Came...... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ... still it came...... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it ... The coffin stopped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr lover Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackie Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Lol. I liked that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Massey Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 lol made me chuckle but that is one sad joke or am i sad for laughing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyP Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted January 24, 2008 Author Share Posted January 24, 2008 lol made me chuckle but that is one sad joke or am i sad for laughing? I think you laughed because it is so bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcAB10 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Massey Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Remind me to have words with you at Squires in the summer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 exellent:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dash Rendar Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Oh you git! You've robbed me of valuable life minutes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I feel violated.... Good effort JM... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra61 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 :clap: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supradriver Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 funny very:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil tt Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Thats good:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vvteye Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Excellent... one for the workmates Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gzaerojon Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 that is 3 minutes of my life gone, i feel so sad now that i will never have those 3 minutes back... i did chuckle though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Doom Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 That really is a TERRIBLE joke JM. Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraChick Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 *yawn* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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