Whitesupraboy2 Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 i got friend who feelin miserable i want to send something to cheer them up. the jokes can be anything at all, cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 I got something, but it is tsunami related, and not very politically correct... if you want it.. send me your number via PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 Guy goes to the doctors. "Doctor, every night I get this sudden urge to go downstairs and stick my d*ck in a biscuit tin"...... Doctor says "Your F*cking Crackers mate" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 Guy goes to the doctors. "Doctor, every night I get this sudden urge to go downstairs and stick my d*ck in a biscuit tin"...... Doctor says "Your F*cking Crackers mate" Most text messages arent that long though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
250horses Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 stiil a good one though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jot_ie Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 Question? Whats the difference between erotica and kinky? If she tickles you with a feather its erotic, if she uses the whole chicken its kinky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jot_ie Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 A scientist has invented a bra that stops tits bobbing up & down & nipples sticking out in the cold. His colleagues have kicked the shit out of him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jot_ie Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 Mother Superior calls all the nuns together & says"We have a case of gonorrhea".One nun says "Thank goodness for that, I'm fuckin' sick of Chardonnay!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jot_ie Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 In hospital,think i've poisoned myself.Used a dafodil bulb in a cheese sandwich instead of an onion.Dont worry though i'll be out in the spring!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jot_ie Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 Larry La Prise who wrote The Hokey Pokey has died aged 93.The worst part was getting him in the coffin. They put his left leg in..then the trouble started! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jot_ie Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 ANN SUMMERS LTD: We thank u for your recent order. U ask 4 a large red vibrator as pictured in our wall display. Please re-select as this is a fire extinguisher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 I've got one, but it is tsunami related (so in bad taste), but if I get the go ahead I will paste it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jot_ie Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 oops, sorry. There may have been a few choice words in some of those posts. Forgot to edit them. No offence John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toytown Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 Most have probably seen these, but for my own amusement Hi, i have just found out that I have won a prize of a 2 week holiday in the sun for me & 4 friends. £500 spending money each is included. As we've been friends for so long, I was wondering if you could put my bin out next wednesday. ---------------------------------------------------------------- hi m8, just been arrested for being the ugliest bastard in the country, could you come to the nick to prove they are wrong ! ---------------------------------------------------------------- I thought I saw your name on the side of a loaf of bread the other day, but when I read it again it said THICK CUT --------------------------------------------------------------- Hi m8, found a lovely prostitute the other night, she charges by the inch. I can't afford her but would make a cheap shag for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 Pmsl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 Whats the difference between like, love and showing off..... Spit, swallow and gargle Also got a very un-PC tsunami joke but wont tell it hear. Gaz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 A man is watching his neighbours dog licking his balls. " I wish I could do that," he says admiringly. The neighbour replys, "Give him a biscuit and he might let you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 What the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with the light on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Whats the difference between the Israeli army and Dwight York? The Iraeli army knew when to pull out of Jordan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 What do you call a breakdancer with no arms or legs? Clever dick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Vanessa Feltz was detained by customs at Heathrow for smuggling drugs. Allegedly, she had 40ib of crack in her knickers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duffers Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Two monkeys running a bath... One gets in and goes " u u u ah ah ah" and the other one says... "put some cold in!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Why are women like condoms? They spend 99% of the time in ur wallet and the other 1% on ur d*ck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 What does a short-sighted gynaecologist have in common with a puppy? They both have wet noses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 Not PC but here you go The cost of this text message is 12p and could feed an asylum seeker for a week. Please forward this to as many people as you can and starve the fu**ers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now