Years ago i used to share a house in Ealing with some friends.
It was a kind of student digs type place and one Easter, the Landlord decided to treat us to a new three piece sofa.
So the old one went out into the back garden. We wnet down the pub for an afternoon drink, and I drank a bit more than usual and was feeling quite jovial.
When we got back i thought it would be a good idea to dispose of the sofa by setting fire to it.
I gave it a few goes but it didn't really go up....then it caught.... .
Sh1t i thought hmm better put this out before it really goes. So i casually sauntered into the kitchen and came out with a pint glass of water and f*uck my boots it had really got going. Flames were about 20 feet high, next doors fence and garage were on fire and the trees were beginning to catch.
Trumpton duly attended and put the inferno out, but next door's garage and fence were completely gutted. When head Trumpton asked me how it started i thought i'd better tell the truth otherwise investigation...Old Bill....arsonist....