Bill Prawn

Yes but you never had pictures to back it up

Hehehe, after spending some time with real people over Christmas, not me!

Don't be so pretentious, that's how people speak now in the real world.

How do you work that out?

A twenty-one-year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemists and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting and cursing, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man, impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps out of the car and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I'm very sorry, but I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I WILL take charge." He continued, "If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a £1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and £1,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "That you try again."

Sorry it's late but I went to a pantomime yesterday. My nephew was appearing as a snowman, unfortunately he froze on stage.

Had a brand new engine 16000 miles ago

Ohhwww you're such a typical girl

Fed up with driving like a wuss because of the slippy roads and salt eating away at the soop. So I bought a MG ZT+ 190. 2.5 V6. Good fun and great to drive. :D

Not wanting to appear santamental at this time of year, here are a few new meaning to the festive favourites we all know. CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are. DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas. NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me. MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and... PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why. DEPRESSION: Silent Anedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely. OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, .......(better start again) PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away). BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire. Have a great Christmas everyone, wherever you are

Merry Christmas one and all. Here's a little JIG to get you in the party mood.

Me too:(

Cheers for the help. Managed to get it repaired, not sure how long it will last, but I know where to come if I need one

OH YES I WILL So nah nar na nar nah

He wasn't a traffic cop, just a sit on his arse and do nothing on the beat bobby.

No need for that

I think it's three

Don't you believe it

Could almost be a joke Nice story though:)

Please leave the site now Before you are embarassed

Sounds like something Fletcher would have done!!!

Class, top bit of copying and pasteing, and then his superb comment. F**kwit

I hung about for a bit, he went and picked on some kids then went into the shop - to buy his doughnuts I guess!

There was probably 10 cars including the Police vehicle parked on the path. He picked on mine because it wasn't a boring hatchback. Victimisation?