Bill Prawn

So Nic what did you decide on?

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck." "You noticed then," quips the duck. "And you talk!" exclaims the landlord. "Of course I can talk," says the duck. "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly," says the landlord, "Sorry about that, it's just that we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer and everything!" "Sounds marvellous," says the ringleader, "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job paying really good money!" "Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus," says the landlord. "The circus?" the duck enquires. "That's right," replies the landlord. "The circus?" "Yes!" "That place with the big tent?" "Yeah!" "With all the animals?" "Of course!" "With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle," asks the duck. "That's right," says the landlord. The duck now looking confused replied:- "What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer?"

No Chris was not guilty

But remember one day the student will become the master

In that case then :repost:

I wonder what you are looking for to find things like that:think:

You could also smile if you wanted too:)

Won't work:giveup:

Great thread. On a similar note Hell

This has possibly been posted before but after reading Angie's English thread here I thought it needed an airing:more: The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term examination paper. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, which is that "gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed" or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then option 2 cannot be true, and thus 1 am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze. The student received the only A.

Good luck mate, what's the job?

Cheers guys, some other bits are on order. When it's done I'll start on the outside:)

In the immortal words of Little Britain mmmmm bitty

Torquing from our rear ends or why not use some of the most commonly asked questions as a motto? Such as: "What's it worth?" "What mpg will it get?" or a particular favourite "Where are my turbo's?"

It's getting there but a bit more is needed:eyebrows:

It's a good advert and the telly's even better:more:

A2 "Standard Motorcycle" Is, by law 25kW / 33 Bhp & Power/Weight ratio below 16kW/kg, age 17 or over and you need :- A provisional Motorcycle entitlement A CBT certificate (unless you've already passed a moped or A1 test, see above) Then ride with "L" plates on machines up to 125cc and up to 11 kW only, Pass Theory Test (unless you've already passed moped or A1 test, see above) Pass your test on a machine between 120 & 125 cc, capable of at least 62 mph. Ride without "L" plates and carry a pillion passenger on any bike but you are restricted to a 33 Bhp machine for 2 years; after that, you're free to ride any bike, there's no re-test.

Compulsory Basic Training (CBT) All learner riders must complete CBT before riding on the roads. CBT pass certificates issued before 1 February 2001 will be valid for three years from the date of issue. Those certificates issued from 1 February 2001, will be valid for two years. CBT will have to be re-taken if both theory and practical tests are not passed within the Certificate life. CBT must be completed before riding on the road by all learners who are resident on the mainland Great Britain, and connected islands. Residents of all other islands will be exempt from the need to take CBT, but only if riding on roads which are on an exempted island. A CBT certificate issued in respect of a course completed on a motorcycle or sidecar combination or a moped with more than two wheels will restrict the provisional riding entitlement (or full moped entitlement on full car licence) to such vehicles. Once you have successfully completed CBT, and have your Certificate (DL 196), you can carry on to take additional training to pass your tests and qualify for a full motorcycle or moped licence. What test do I need to take? There are 3 categories of full licence to aim for: Category P – moped. Sub-Category A1 – light motorcycle licence, which restricts riders to any bike up to 125cc and a power output of 11kW. Category A – standard motorcycle licence. Moped and Motorcycle tests normally consist of two separate parts – a theory test and a practical test. Theory Test & Hazard Perception You will probably need to pass a Theory Test and Hazard Perception before taking a practical test for a moped or a motorcycle. You do not need to take a theory test if you already hold a full licence for another category of motorcycle or have passed a moped test since 1 July 1996. The Theory Test Pass Certificate is valid for two years. The practical test must be passed within this period otherwise the Theory Test will have to be taken again. Practical Test Category P, the practical test can be taken on an moped. Sub-category A1, the practical test must be taken on a bike of between 75cc and 125cc. Category A, the practical test is taken on a bike of between 121cc and 125cc and capable of at least 100kph. After passing the standard motorcycle practical test you will be restricted for two years to riding a bike of up to 25kW and a power/weight ratio not exceeding 0.16kW/kg. After this you may ride any size of bike. Riders over the age of 21, or those who reach 21 before their two-year restriction ends, have further test options: Direct Access Those who do not already hold a full motorcycle licence may, after taking CBT and the Theory Test, if necessary, take the practical test on a motorcycle with a power output of at least 35kW. A pass will allow you to ride any size of bike. All or part of the CBT course may be taken on either a learner bike or a large bike. You may practise for the practical test on bikes larger than the learner bike specification provided: You are accompanied at all times by a qualified instructor on another bike and in radio contact. You wear fluorescent or reflective clothing and follow all other provisional licence restrictions. Accelerated Access Riders who already hold a full licence and reach age 21 while still within the two year restricted period and wish to ride bikes larger than 25kW, may practise and take a further test on a large bike. The same test and practise conditions for Direct Access riders will apply. Although you revert to learner status while practising, test failure will not affect your existing motorcycle licence entitlement.

Finally a proper statement. I thought everyone had gone mad:more:

Has anyone got a Supra one kicking around in a drawer that they are not likely too use? If so what colour and how much do you want for it?