Bill Prawn

Just thought I'd pop by and say hi. How is everyone?

A pregnant West Indian woman has a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor says. The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, Denephew.

How do you tell the difference between a chav girl and a chav boy? The girl has the higher sperm count!

That's a bit personal

I thought it was me because I was abroad, but it is sooooo slow

Round. Not very helpful that is it?

Yesterday wasn't as good as today! Yesterday I spent three hours in traffic jams, one and a half hours sitting on a plane on the runway at Heathrow and it took me 10 hours door to door to get to Portugal, where it was raining! Today we had banana split for dinner:)

Not a bit

Cheers for that. And credit where credit is due, Casey has been a class above this year. He deserves the title.

NO! It's a question. That's why I put a ? t the end. I don't know, the standards have really dropped on here

Quick nurse empty his bag!!!

Yeah still with the boys in blue. We are at Carcavelos overlooking the Atlantic.

Discuss

It's good ta. In Portugal at the mo and off to Japan on Monday. We're having a really successful year as well so that makes things better. Thanks for asking

Hi, I have a brother called Michael and neither of us went to Jae, but I have just been to the can!

Wow you must be a busy fencer! I hope I don't have to explain that one

It was a question not a suggestion

Wish I was!!!

Hello, Have you been on here long?

Like you?

That's all I wanted to say:)

I recently chose a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?" "No," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either." Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!" "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or cycling?" "No, I don't," I said. He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, motorcycles or have a lot of sex?" "No," I said. "I don't do any of those things." Then he looked at me and asked, "Then why do you give a shit?"

A boy is walking down the path when a car pulls up beside him. The driver winds down the window and says. "If I give you a bag of lollies will you get in the car?" "No" replies the boy. "How about a bag of lollies and 10 pounds?" Asked the driver. "No way" said the young lad. "What about £50 and the lollies?" Asked the driver who was now crawling along the kerbside at walking pace to keep up with the boy. "Not a Chance!" The boy answered "there's no way I'm getting in that car!" "Ok then £100 and two bags of lollies." The now anxious driver asked, worrying that someone would see him. "No bloody way am I sitting in there" the kid shouted back. "Alright then what will it take to get you to come for a ride then?" Enquired the driver. "Look Dad" said the boy "You bought a fu**ing Skoda now live with it!"

I'll be 65 then too, what an amazing similarity

Quite a few already are