Bill Prawn

His attitude was very bad, at the end of the day he is a public servant, and should still be able to talk to the public on a decent level.

It's panto time. OH YES I WILL

There are people on here that would take great pleasure in telling you that was a repost. Not me though because although they are both very old jokes they are still two of the funniest. Nearly as good as the rabbits

Is to post enough inane twaddle to get to 3000 posts Shouldn't be hard

You have no idea how true that statement is:cool:

I'm there

That'd be telling

I got a producer the other day. We have a really wide path outside some shops and everyone parks there. I did the other night to nip into shop for about two minutes. When I came out Mr Plod was standing in front of car looking at tax disc (with his vehicle parked on the path opposite). He said nothing just let me get in car and start up. He then came to side window and tapped on glass. I wound down and he asked me to turn off car. He then proceded to say I was illegally parked etc, etc, and asked why? I said as the car I had was prone to vandalism etc, and to my amazement he said "Well you choose to to drive a car like that and I guess you can afford to, so you have to put up with things like that" At which point I wanted to tear into him with a tirade of why don't you f**k off and catch some real criminals, but I thought better of it. He gave me a producer and then said: "if I find out it is not insured I will come and impound it." Don't you just love the attitude of some poeple?

Madrid V Bayern Inter V Valencia Celtic V AC Lille V Man U PSV V Arsenal Roma V Lyon

Barcelona

Jose going home, that should be fun

I would

Well us sea dwellers need to stick together

I got two for the price of one when I had mine done

Never seen a chav penguin, where would it hand those lovely big gold hoop earrings or model those lovely chunky coin rings?

A man walks into the street and manages to hail a taxi that was passing. Cabbie: "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right - all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy" Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special" Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right." Passenger. "Wow, some guy then." Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake." Passenger. "Mmm, there's not many like him around." Cabbie: "And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." Passenger: "Then, how do you know so much about him?" Cabbie: "Unfortunately, I married his f**king widow."

Great stuff dude, proper cheered me up. :D

Done that. £86 Plus £150 was the quote I got

My undertray has come loose and fallen down whilst driving. It is quite badly damaged and I've been quoted lots for a new one. If I remove it will it cause any damage to engine? Does anyone know of an aftermarket one? Does anyone have a spare one kicking about?

I'd pop over if I was about

done nothing, not even written one card:)

Telepathetic more like:D

Don't talk about Lewis like that!!!

Done just for you:)

Yeah because Christmas has been around longer than Easter