hogmaw

Yes Wilf Lunn used to do nutty stuff like that in Vision On... I think (it's been 30 years!)

Only a few days late then OH the shame!

No Way!

Superb. Would have been better if it made the tea and put some bread in the toaster. Anyone remember Wilf Lunn?

i no educashunal standerds r fallin in this kountry BUT... ----- UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? Contestant: Homosexuals. Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you. BIG QUIZ (LBC) Gary King: Name the funny men who once entertained kings and queens at court. Contestant: Lepers. QUIZMANIA (ITV) Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with 'T'. Contestant: Doctor. Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango. 'T' for Tintinnabulation. Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) . . . Doctor. DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM) Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year? Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue. Kelly: OK. What do beans come in? Contestant: Cartons? BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester. BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a world-wide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm. White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're . . .? Contestant: Strong. White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis. White: Well, there we are then. So who had a world-wide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra? LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS) Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy? Contestant: France. Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris. BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON) DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish? RICHARD AND JUDY (ITV/C4) Q: How many wheels are there on a unicycle? A: Three. THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway? UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name? Contestant: Goosey, goosey? RICHARD AND JUDY Q: How many metres are there in a kilometre? A: Three. GWR FM (Bristol) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then. TALKSPORT Andy Townsend: How many wheels does a tricycle have? Caller: Two. Townsend: The Beatles were known as the Fab . . .? Caller: Five. 24 HOUR QUIZ (ITV) Unseen questionmaster: Who sang the song 'Je t'aime' with Jane Birkin? Two contestants (given a choice of three answers): Jacques Chirac. RICHARD AND JUDY Q: Which Danish city is famous for its statue of a mermaid? A: Denmark. RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND) Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The.? Caller: Mohicans. QUIZMANIA Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'. Contestant: Grandfather. Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else. Contestant: Panda. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER) Phil: What's 11 squared? Contestant: I don't know. Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle. Contestant: Is it five? RICHARD AND JUDY Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman? A: Forrest Gump. WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? Tarrant (asking the audience): 'Jambon' is the French for which food? Audience: 11 per cent said jam. RICHARD AND JUDY Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? Contestant: Er . . . Leslie: He makes bread .. . Contestant: Er . . . Leslie: He makes cakes .. . Contestant: Kipling Street? NATION VACATION (NATION 217 TV) Presenter: Which of these is a city in Germany: Hanoi, Hanover or Hangover? Contestant: Hanoi. MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND) Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated? Contestant: Erm .. . Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964. Contestant: 1965? SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV) Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held? Contestant: Six. Tufnell: Higher! Contestant: Five. RICHARD AND JUDY Q: What's the Prince of Wales's Christian name? A: Err . . . Q: Here's a clue: he was married to Diana. A: Err . . . Q: It begins with a 'C'. A: No idea. MAGIC FM Graham Dene: What was the name of Tony Blair's chief spin-doctor who resigned last year? Contestant: Iain Duncan Smith. FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV) Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT. Team: Chedpit. LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total? Contestant: 23. NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM) Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest? Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it? THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT) Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter 'e'. Contestant: Ghana. Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean. Contestant: New Zealand. NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Question: What is the world's largest continent? Contestant: The Pacific ROCK FM (PRESTON) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci. Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? THE VAULT (ITV) Melanie Sykes: In which European city was the first opera house opened in 1637? Contestant: Sydney. THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918? Contestant: Magna Carta. JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er . . . er . . . three? NATIONAL LOTTERY Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what? Contestant: Jelly. RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2) Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory? Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's? BLIND DATE (ITV) Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen. Boy: Charlotte Bronte. STEVE PENK BREAKFAST SHOW (VIRGIN RADIO) Steve Penk: What is the name of the French-speaking Canadian state? Contestant: America? Portugal? Canada? Mexico? Italy? Spain? CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL) Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er . . . Mexico? OWEN MONEY SHOW (BBC RADIO WALES) Owen Money: In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can. Caller: Er, Tony Brown. And Nigel Benn. (Silence.) KELLY TODAY (ITV) Lorraine Kelly: How many days in a leap year? Contestant: 253. THE VAULT Gabby Logan: What is the county town of Kent? Contestant: Kentish Town? DOG EAT DOG (BBC1) Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings? Contestant: Enid Blyton DAVE LEE TRAVIS SHOW (BREEZE FM) DLT: In which European country are there people called Walloons? Contestant: Wales. PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE) Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. NATIONAL LOTTERY Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . .. what? Contestant: Basketball. NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place? Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor? SEE HEAR SATURDAY (BBC2) Presenter: What country does the spiritual leader the Dalai Lama come from? Contestant: Scotland. JANICE FORSYTH SHOW (BBC RADIO SCOTLAND) Janice Forsyth: What is the currency in India? Contestant: Ramadan. DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er . . . Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . . Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . . Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . . Contestant: Walked? NATIONAL LOTTERY Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea: a) Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea? Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now, Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea. THE VAULT Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time? Contestant: Nostalgic. BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ (LBC) Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? Contestant: Four. BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1 Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes? Contestant: Ummm .. . Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'. Contestant: Shark. STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2) Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play? Contestant: Jesus.

yes, certainly above average

every time I walk past my car I tell it how beautiful it is

No but I came off the m25 at J24, went south towards Cockfosters instead of Enfield, kind of drove round a bit lost before finding Crews Hill (I think that is where whifbitz is?). Still could be me or no? EDIT no not me, I thought Hitchin was near where I was but it is way north. I thought it was too good to be true that I had been spotted again! I mean, 3 years ownership and 35,000 miles I have been spotted ONCE!!!

Might have been me getting lost on the way to whifbitz?!

I'm all for it, there are 100s of things they do in other countries that we could do here, like turn all rural traffic lights to flashing amber after say 11pm? A good one I have seen recently in Spain and Cyprus was a digital countdown in seconds next to the red light, showing you how long it would be before they went green.

hahah give that man some munchies

Not sure how you can get wheels AND tyres for 800? Tyres themselves will cost about 600, which leaves 50 quid each per wheel...

01.Lui 02.Adam 03.Paul (fargo) 04.madmatt 05.hogmaw (PAID) 06.imi 07.Wayney 08.Ben (Wayney's mate) 09.Viperrob 10.Vipperrob's Sister 11.Silversoop 12.Jezzybabe's 13.mark (Viperrob's mate) 14.Clarkey 15.Bobbeh 16.P111ddy 17.Steve (Jezzy's mate at QSD) 18.Phill (Steve's mate from QSD) 19.Mark (adam's mate) 20.Karl (adam's mate) 21.Jamie (adam's mate) 22.Jay (P111ddy's mate) 23.dave(viperrob mate) 24.Mike (Bobbehs mate)

You'd be in bed, fucked, if you had the flu. Beechams Max Strength works for me (I have a cold at the moment too) but you had best try em all see which works best. Try not to spread it by sneezing at everyone

that's a cold, not the flu. Give it 7 days

Soarer?

Doesn't really matter, it will say in the ad if it has turbo or not. For 6k you can get a jap tt, but it won't be minty, but you can get a good n/a for that too

I'm sure it will have some insurance cover, and besides 25m is nothing in the wider scheme of things. As a tax payer I am 100% behind using our money for this kind of work, our heritage and history is PRICELESS

Did you get it done on the trackday insurance, or was it just an expensive day out for you?

Been on the cornish beer? If so it may be an 'ale force wind'

Just one more needed c'mon everybody

He should watch Red Asphalt. Come to think of it, maybe we all should

Stopping on the motorway to have a race, clear road 100% NO traffic, broad daylight... I'm gonna move to germany und ja ich kann noch ein bischen deutsch sprechen

Bump c'mon everybody if you haven't tried it yet you WILL love it, if only for the convoy there & back!

Nice one Gaz, keep up your good work