DanGX

When I win, could I have one of those huge cheques sent to me - I've always wanted one of those!

*Consults his phones Texts-of-Destiny for a joke* Ahhh found one... A man walks into a bar and sees a sign "Make my Donkey Laugh and get a free tab for a week!" The guy mulls it over for a bit before walking to the bar and says "I'll give it a go." Sure enough, he gets led round the back by the barman to where an innocent looking donkey is tied up. The barman leaves him to it. 10 minute later, the guy comes back into the bar, followed closely behind by the donkey in complete hysterics. Barman says "Yep, fine. Weldone - grab a seat and I'll start pouring." A week later the same guy walks into the bar, this time however, there is a sign which reads "Make my donkey cry, get a weeks free tab." Same thing again, gets led round the back, donkey and left to it. Sure enough a few minutes later, the guy comes back with a donkey in absolute tears. The barman stares in disbelief and says "No argument from me, but how did you do it?" Guy says "well, last week I said to the donkey I had a bigger cock than him, this week I proved it!" Boom boom!

I'm so excited....and I just can't hide it!

If anyone wants to add me on the SeX Box, I'm SuperDan Dare

I am the great BUNGHOLIO!

If it means anything to you, I'll make sure to keep an eye out - I'm Uxbridge/GX/Wycombe way. Although I am now commuting to Harrow for the new job. So if anyone is in the vacinity - Party over here!

Saw you in a really nice looking Black Supra. You came alongside, waved (waved back). Must have been about 3.30pm.

Hi Guys, Had my MOT the other day - passed. However the guy did point out I did need to get some replacement parts for the Batmobile before the next MOT. The first thing he mentioned was that the headlight beam wasn't quite up to the standard he liked it and admittedly they are a bit yellow. He suggested getting some headlight covers or replace both the clusters. Is it even possible to get covers??? If so, can someone assist? Also, the second thing was that my shock absorbers were weeping. Again, he said not an immediate concern but I was wondering if anyone could do me a price check and advise the best way of sourcing them. I was hoping for advice before committing to buying any as I literally lost my job...last week. I wouldn't say money is tight, but it is now finite. Out the two, if they exist, I would prefer to get the covers. Thoughts, advice,ramblings and even abuse is welcome!

Saw this one in Solihull at 11.15am. Saw you drive by as I was parking up at the National Grid. Homer Road? I'll probably get a slap for this, but the colours must be an acquired taste! Gold all round, with the exception of a bright red clashing bumper. It made my eyes bleed.

Saw you this morning. You took the turn off before Oxford...I carried on to Solihull..boooo!

Saw you. Both went round the round about from opposite directions. Old town. Opposite Iceland. The frozen food supermarket....not the financially buggered country.

Yes, now that you mention it, it was standard.

I saw you as I came up the road from the station. Couldn't help noticing how spifing you looked in your baseball cap and impressed how you managed to fit people in the back.

I'll be there for the next one.

Saw you queuing up to go to Beaconsfield/GX at approximately 9am today. You flashed me, flashed you back. Big ass hello from me!

I have the same problem with the central locking one - will give it a go, too. Failing htat I'll try the blue tack idea! Can anyone recommend a set from above - I'm a complete dunce when it comes to brands/types, etc.

Hahaha - I'm going to save this post. Why? Because my name is.... Dan Marshall! Step right up, Give me a needle and ink and I'll draw you an evil stick man with a shotgun!

I used to go to school with a guy called Chris Cross.

No, no - the other thread was really funny. I showed it to him and it gave him a good laugh. Brightened him up, I think. I should be thanking you. Thanks.

We're near a white upper class area (Gerrards Cross) but equally near one of the most reputably poorest and racially mixed towns in the UK - Slough. But completely agree - A blue ferrari is a rarity and if it is a California, then it must be even easier to find. Also, not saying Slough is a sh*thole, just saying it has a reputation for being a sh*thole.

Firstly, I'm probably a gamer above anything else. I do get stressed if a I die a critical moment, or the machine dies before I've saved - waste of half an hour - or the classic moment you get the ring-of-death on the xbox. The most you will get from me is a disbelieving "Oh you've got to be having a giraffe." I can remember being more upset as a kid, but never having a go at my dad because quite frankly he would probably shout louder and scarier. A couple of times as a child I'm quite sure I p*ssed myself out of fear. Early on dad threatened us with and used the cane. Had us in tears. BUT looking back, it made me the disciplined, somewhat unhinged introvert I am today. Like Gav said, don't show weakness. If you show a crack - they will take advantage of it for the rest of your life (God know I did!) playing you off your wife and before you know it you'll be saying "Ask your mother." I don't think it's the games, I think your boy needs to the law laid down the next time he goes vesuvius.

Supposedly happened about 4.30pm today. Let me set the scene. We live on a country road in Stoke Poges between GX and Slough. Tight lanes, blind corners, no paths. Anyway, my mum and dad had stepped outside the house to walk the dog. My dad was trying to shoo the cat back towards the house so it didn't get run over, as it had followed them out of the drive and into the road. It's not a busy road. You could probably sit in the middle of the road (which generally speaking isn't big enough for two cars either side) for several minutes before a car presents itself. However, a lot of the locals walk along the road. It's the type of road where doing anything more 20 mph is dangerous. Anyway, so the parents had only just stepped outside the house, when they clearly hear a car approaching, or should I say hurtling towards them. From the description my dad gave me later, we think it's a Ferrari California - sort of metalic baby blue colour. Can't be 100% sure. So my dad motioned for him to slow down a bit. The guy zoomed past, breaked and reversed and said "You got a problem?" You can probably see where this is going... My dad says "Yes, you're driving too fast - you need to go slower." to which the indian/asian gentleman driver in his 30's replied "Who the f*ck are you to tell me to slow down!" My Dad said "I live here, it's not safe to drive at that speed down here." "Oh yeah? Well I live here, too, old man. What? Are you some sort of f*cking policeman." "Yes, I might be - you don't know what I do." "Oh yes, you f*cking old man, I'll f*cking do you!" FYI, my dad is ex-professional rugby. The guy was like 5'8." Right. At this stage, cars had started to line up behind our foul mouthed friend and people were gathering. My dad put his hand on the car door to lean closer and the guy screamed "DON'T TOUCH MY F*CKING CAR!" and went absolutely apesh*t. My dad was ready to pull the guy out of the window/hit him when he noticed the guy reach for something behind his seat. The guy supposedly said, again "I'll f*cking do you." At this stage, dad decide best not find out what the guy had waiting and calmly said "Just slow down, it's not safe" - pretty much what he'd said throughout. At which point the guy sped off and... ...nearly took out a family of four crossing the road. Mum, Dad and two young kids. Didn't even break. Prick. At this stage, I think it started to dawn on dad what had just happened and really started to get angry. You know, the whole "I wish I had....x, y, z'ed him." Especially as he'd just witnessed the guy nearly take out the family. Some of the vehicles as they passed enquired what the guys problem was and my dad just shook his head and went back indoors. So that's it. What a d*ck. If anyone sees anyone matching his description in the local area, I want him. No one deserves to have that kind of filth fired at them and no one has the right to act in such a manner. FYI, hate to admit this openly because I don't want to be seen as some rich kid, but Dad could afford this puke's car - six figure salary. Nuff said. But none the less - this guy requires some serious head-to-baseball bat attention. I just got angry listening to what happened. It's not about money, class or race - it's about common decency. Do you think there is anything the police can use to at least be aware of him? Dad didn't get a reg number and didn't think about getting witness details.

01.Lui 02.Dave17 03. JamieP 04. Homer 05. Ben SZ-R 06. jazz1 07. DanGX

As apposed to buying a 20 year old nova and slapping Fiat badge on it?

Crikey, wish I got here sooner. Was going to say got Falkens on all corners for £392 thanks to the recommendations to guys on teh sight. Blackcircles.com was a winner. Included fitting.