TOP TIP: If you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the
> > next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her
> > flaps open, ----- it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex.
> >
> > Wish me luck, I appear in court next Monday.
> >
> >
> > ********************
> >
> >
> > I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today...
> >
> > Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I
> > thought it did.
> >
> >
> > ********************
> >
> >
> > A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said, "sorry
> > about the wait".
> >
> > I said, "don't worry fatty, you are bound to lose it eventually."
> >
> >
> > ********************
> > Snow in the forcast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches
> > tonight, I thought to myself 'fat chance with a face like that!'
> > ********************
> > I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how
> > gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I
> > always end up in bed with them.
> >
> > Here's how it goes, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this
> > damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
> > ********************
> > Years ago it was suggested that 'an apple a day kept the doctor away'.
> > But
> > since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich
> > works best!
> >
> >
> > ********************
> >
> >
> > I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things
> > commonly
> > found in cells.
> >
> > Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.
> > ********************
> >
> >
> > I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips,
> > mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said,
> > "I've not eaten for two days".
> >
> > I told him, "I wish I had your f**king will power"!