This is one of the funniest threads I have read for ages.
You need to remember that the creatine and protein shakes are 'supplements' and you should be able to get the majority of your dietary needs from your basic diet (as long as you have a good diet sorted).
You generally need to eat an average of 500 cals a day over your daily allowance in order to gain weight without too much fat. However; it is all down to diet..
Your food intake must consist of protein (not too much steak as mentioned earlier, tuna, salmon, chicken or turkey is a good lean source), vegtables, good fats and complex carbs. Stay away from white bread and plain rice. Go for wholemeal or brown.
A protein shake with glucose powder mixed in straight after a workout is alos a good idea. The glucose helps get the protein into your system quicker.
Also, you need to be lifting heavy. 3 sets of 15 reps per exercise wont get you anywhere.
Aim for 25 reps in total with an average of 6-8 reps per set. You must work each set to failure for good gains.
Enough said...