got a few!
I was born in australia and when I was 3 ish, being the young adventure seeker:) I climbed over a fence. only to fall and land on a cactus! trip too hospital followed to remove the needles.
Mate had a mini. and we had been driving to my folks when it started to run rough. Managed to get it there and decide to have a tinker and fit a few speakers in the back. Im fitting the speakers and he's messing under the bonnet. He starts the car up and wanders back round to the front. Im fitting the speakers and he calls my name out..... I cant hear what hes saying so carry on... he then shouts a bit louder what sounds like "turn the fcuking car off" so still not hearing him properly, I get out and walk round to him.... I was greeted with him shouting at me to shut the car off as he was removing the spark leads and testing them he had put his other hand on the wing and completed the circuit!! Oh how I laughed!!! He now works at toyota and does all my servicing etc.... I only worry when he goes "ahhh". You know he has broken something!
On a paintball session. near the end of the day a we are in the final fight and stuck in a small burrow againt 3 guys behind a wooden wall. These guys kept peppering us with paint and my mate was a little annoyed that he was pinned. so he raises his arm and fires a few rounds off. I stick my head up and I have never seen a paintball curve soooo much!! It went round the wooden boards and all we could hear was " OWWWWWW you *********!!!. had only hit him right in the nads, or to be more exact the end of his todger! him rolling on the floor and covered in red paint round his bollox! classic moment!