I was watching tv whilst living at my sisters once, in between wives, and i heard a strange tapping sound, thought nothing of it & returned to "chicks with dicks" showing on euro - aherm anyway, i heard it again and looked down onto the laminate floor where i thought it was coming from - "HOLY MOTHER OF FOOKIN SPIDERS"
It was an 8 legged killer of Biblical proportions - like it had been trapped in a fookin egyptian pyramid for 3,000 years....
It was that big i could actually hear the fooka on the laminate floor
Needless to say i have now moved out - still watch the Ladyboys though