Just had me in fits of laughter some of these stories so had to post afew.
Was on a night out and when im drunk my party trick is to do the splits. On this night i was going commando and decided to do the splits and ripped my pants full from front to back. Best part was i didnt even notice because i was so drunk. Anyway remember waking up at my then girlfriends house and her sayin my mum will be here soon to give me a lift home in the Roller so up i jumps puts the shirt on then the pants and im there hanging out in all my glory. So in a panic i grab the first thing to hand which happened to be a pair of my girlfriend black with nice little red lacy trim niks and some how shoe horn myself into them. Then i meet her mother for the first time with my tackle hanging out on the back seat of her car. Has to have been the longest car ride of my life, but she didnt stop looking and even said to me leave the pants off next time!
The time i was out with my brother looking in a shop window at some sunglasses and tryed to look round the other side of the case they were in but forgot the window was there and rammed my head into it rather hard even the people in the shop were laughing at me.
Oh and the time again after a night on the ale woke up at some womens house id been seeing on and off for abit start having abit of a fumble then she starts to give me a massage, oils my back up all nice and was doing a great job as i start to nod off. But thats when im woken up with one of the worsed pains ive ever felt in my life as i nearly shoot through the wall into next doors. i reach around and grab the double ender that she has just tryed to shove up my strictly no entry passage. But as i do this i spin over onto my back with this huge double ender in my hand and hit her by accident across the side of the head with it and K.O her and im there stood over her in a heap on the floor double ender in one hand phone in the other phoning my mate to come and pick me up
Last one for now, i hurt the bottom of my back playing football so my dad gets the deep heat spray out as he said it would loosen it up abit and sprays aload on for me. The thing is it ran down my back down the crack of my arse and if you think you have had ring sting after a curry that doesnt even come close! I spent the next hour with the shower on cold on my arse with my dad and my brother stood crying laughing at my expense!