Dr_Doom

Happy Birthday Mike!!

Happy Birthday mate!!

The quotes that i posted up were from the internet, not his current live show so don't panic!

Happy birthday mate! :friday:

rainbow

Here you go Just a few, a lot better with him telling them though. A lot of it's in the timing! One thing Jimmy Carr is amazing at is dealing with hecklers! He encourages the audience to shout out at the beginning of gigs and the way he handles them is brilliant! It made the show for me. Jimmy Carr Quotes... I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it. I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead. I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand. I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move. I did a gig in the US once for the homeless. I said "It's nice to see so many bums on seats". I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it. There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault? There’s been a lot of talk about genetic engineering I was wondering, is it wrong to breed piglets specifically for the purposes of weaning paedophiles off babies, only I'm thinking of starting a company called "They'll squeal, but not to the cops". I'd like to leave you ladies and gentlemen with this frightening fact: I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year. I'm not sure about you people, but I think we're being overcharged on groceries. No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol™. My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian... My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty." Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes. A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."

You'll be fine P.S loving the pic!

I went to see him in Stoke before xmas. Very very funny! Got to speak to him afterwards too & he's a really nice bloke! Get on youtube! There's loads!!

PM sent

You'll be on the real hustle next Tom

The big kid in me loves films like this!!

looking good!!!

Umbongo umbongo! They drink it in the congo!! I Used to have this in my packed lunch when i was a kid! Tasted like dish water!!

I've got some cam covers.. PM sent

Sorry to hear this Mike Hope it's an easy fix for you and you can get back on with your project..

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday mate!

Happy Birthday mate!!

Love that film!! "Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?" "Bend over and I'll show you!"

Merry Xmas everyone!!! Have a good one!!

I saw a grey one, same place, last week. Gave them a flash & a wave, not sure if it's a member on here though!

One of the best things i've bought was my 42" Plasma... If it broke i'd buy another one straight away, no questions (well maybe a 50"). Don't think i could do without one now!

well i read it twice and it still doesn't make sense!