While I was driving down the A1 the other day, (going a littlefaster than I should have been),
I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman ontheother side with a radar gun, lying in wait.
The policeman pulled meover,walked up to the car and with that classic, patronizing smirk, and asked:
'Runway too short'?
To which I replied. 'I'm late for work'
To which he asked, 'What do you do?'
'I'm a rectum stretcher,' I responded.
The policeman was surprised and confused.
'A what?'
'rectum stretcher'
'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' I said 'I start by inserting one finger then I work my way
up to twofingers, then three, then four then with my whole hand in,
work sideto sideuntil I can stretch and stretch and then I slowly but surely stretch
thehole until it's about 6 feet'
Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously.
'And justwhat do youdo with a six-foot a'sehole?'
To which I politely replied,
'You give it a radar gun and park it behind a bridge...'
Speeding ticket: 105 pounds,
Court Costs: £45 pounds,
Look on copper's face: Priceless....