monkey76364 Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 > >With Christmas almost upon us, I'd like to extend my heartfelt >appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send >me "forwards" over the past 12 months. > >Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy. > >Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on >envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to >seal an envelope. > >Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. > >Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it >I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing >characteristic. > >I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be >pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. > >I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a >water buffalo on a hot day. > >I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a >cologne sample and rob me. > >I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible >mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. > >I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have >363,214 angels looking out for me. > >Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I >forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five >minutes. > >I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the >Internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th >time). > >I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I >receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for >participating in their special on-line email program. > >Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will >now return the favour! > >If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 >minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will land on >your head at 5:00PM this afternoon. I know this will occur because it >actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's >ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. > >Merry Christmas! > >I love a forwarded e-mail though don't you!!! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymanuk Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaoriFan Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 cool, neat post. and another use for Coca Cola, after it being used to clean coins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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